B+C+B+C+B+C: P.S.

Friday, February 13, 2009

P.S.

After posting the comic strip below, I have an addendum that must be offered, for fear my blog will reek of the ostentation I see in so many others (you know what I’m referring to – the blogs we don’t want to look at but do – the “my life/child/husband/world is soooo PERFECT” blogs). Reality check, Pollyanna – this mom-gig is tough. And messy. And chaotic. And lonesome. And demanding. And… given to intense introspection.
No, I definitely do not lament motherhood. I adore my daughter more than words can express.
But my mind occasionally drifts to the “what if…?”
What if I decide to just pay some competent caregiver to do these mundane tasks I fill my days with. What if I actually use the Master’s Degree I worked so hard to obtain. What if I realize the potential in the promising running career I started. What if I never left that blissful island.
When I accepted this role, did I leave behind an identity I worked 20+ years to achieve?
Am I still SMART if I don't do anything that requires the type of intelligence I've always valued in myself?
Have I chosen this course because I'm too lazy to attempt the balancing act of a “working mother” or am I brave and selfless for leaving that world behind?
What next? After 15 years of this, will I be good for anything else?
Do I have value apart from my roles as wife and mother if they’re virtually the only roles I hold?
Some of these thoughts were provoked by reading a stranger’s thoughts – one in a similar situation. So I know I’m not alone. But sadly, this individual provided no answers.
I have none either – other than that I FEEL like what I’m doing is right for us. I can’t imagine finding joy greater in any other pursuit than fulltime motherhood

5 comments:

Jan said...: Hi there- Your mama told me you'd posted something relating to the topic of K's blog today......I thought it very insightful....both your comments and hers. Life is so much more complicated than it was when your mom and I were young. BUT - the basics are still oh so true, and I'm very proud of the young women you all are choosing to be in spite of it all.; February 13, 2009 at 12:34 PM
DeAnne said...: You know what I miss?? Shopping for clothes so I don't look like a frumpy, overweight, stay-at-home mom from the backwoods. That's it.

Ya know, I hate those "too pefect" blogs too. GAG! Sometimes I won't put things on my blog for fear of what other people may think of me. I would love to be more open and honest sometimes, but I know there are people out there who don't want to hear that stuff. I probably shouldn't care, but I do. But let me just say, I would never trade my daughter for ANYTHING in the world. Motherhood is everything you said it is, AND it is the most worthwhile endeavor any woman can embark upon. I am sure you are an amazing mommy too :)

p.s. Katelyn will be 3 in June and she only weighs 27.4 pounds. She's a terrible eater! Oh yeah, if I can't breastfeed my next baby, can I put in an order for some of your goods? :) Will you still be lactating in August? (I'm teasing...sort of); February 13, 2009 at 2:11 PM
Mandy said...: Sorry, I am one of those who is perfectly content being a mommy! There is really NOTHING else I would rather be doing. (sorry if I make you gag! :) Sure I am FAR from perfect as a mom . . . and we have some hAiRy days over here (some of which I feel like I barely hold onto my sanity!!), but I honestly would not trade it!! For me, I seriously have wanted to be a mom for my WHOLE life and then having the infertility issues really made me appreciate the chance to be a mommy!!

I know you LOVE being a mommy too, and I can totally understand having had so many worthwhile pursuits before Brianna, how it would be easy to wonder. I guess for me, I was just killing time til I had kids. (not even kidding, I was PATHETIC!!) I spent my free time doing cousin fun days/sleepovers and buying kid stuff. Yes, I am a freak!! :)

Anyway, I totally enjoy reading your blog and your thoughts on things!! :); February 13, 2009 at 11:04 PM
Malerie said...: I think we'll get our answers when our girls go to college and are smart, happy, and confident in who they are.; February 14, 2009 at 8:04 AM
Debbie said...: The trick is to stay so busy you don't "think". Well, kidding a little, but those times of introspection come around and around. It is great to have girlfriends in every stage of your life. Chocolate is good too. :) Mom; February 14, 2009 at 8:23 AM

Quotes I want to remember

"The Lord knows our bearing capacity, both as to coping and to comprehending, and He will not give us more to bear than we can manage at the moment, though to us it may seem otherwise. Just as no temptations will come to us from which we cannot escape or which we cannot bear, we will not be given more trials than we can sustain."
- Neal A. Maxwell

"It is a fundamental truth that the responsibilities of motherhood cannot be successfully delegated. No, not to day-care centers, not to schools, not to nurseries, not to babysitters. We become enamored with men's theories such as the idea of preschool training outside the home for young children. Not only does this put added pressure on the budget, but it places young children in an environment away from mother's influence."
-Ezra Taft Benson

“Perhaps there has never been a time when we had greater need to pray and to teach our family members to pray. Prayer is a defense against temptation. It is through earnest and heartfelt prayer that we can receive the needed blessings and the support required to make our way in this sometimes difficult and challenging journey we call mortality.”
-Thomas S. Monson

“Live the gospel as conspicuously as you can. Keep the covenants your children know you have made. And bear your testimony! Don’t just assume your children will somehow get the drift of your beliefs on their own.
-Jeffrey R. Holland

"We hold in our arms the rising generation. They come to this earth with important responsibilities and great spiritual capacities. We cannot be casual in how we prepare them. Our challenge as parents and teachers is not to create a spiritual core in their souls but rather to fan the flame of their spiritual core already aglow with the fire of their premortal faith."
-Neil L. Andersen

"Certainly there are times when getting the family together to read the scriptures does not stack up as a spiritual experience worthy of a journal entry. But we must not be deterred. There are special times when the spirit of a son or daughter is just right and the power of these great scriptures goes down into their heart like fire. As we honor our Heavenly Father in our homes, He will honor our efforts."
-Neil L. Andersen

President Hinckley admonished both men and women to be nurturers. He said, ‘How much more beautiful would be the society in which we live if every father . . . and . . . mother regarded [their] children . . . as gifts from the God of heaven . . . and brought them up with true affection in the wisdom and admonition of the Lord.’ ”
-Susan W. Tanner

"Children are like trees. When they are young, their lives can be shaped and directed, usually with ever so little effort. Said the writer of Proverbs, 'Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it' (22:6). That training finds its roots in the home. There will be little of help from other sources. Do not depend on government to help in this darkening situation. Barbara Bush, wife of former U.S. president George Bush, spoke wisely: 'Your success as a family, our success as society, depends not on what happens at the White House, but on what happens inside your house.' "
-Gordon B. Hinckley

“I give counsel to husbands and wives. Pray for the love which allows you to see the good in your companion. Pray for the love that makes weaknesses and mistakes seem small. Pray for the love to make your companion’s joy your own. Pray for the love to want to lessen the load and soften the sorrows of your companion.”
-Henry B. Eyring

“Reverent behavior is not a natural tendency for most children. It is a quality that is taught by parents and leaders through example and training. But remember, if reverence is rooted in love, so is the teaching of it. Harshness in our training begets resentment, not reverence.”
-Margaret S. Lifferth

"There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else."
- M. Russell Ballard

“As parents, we should remember that our lives may be the book from the family library which the children most treasure. Are our examples worthy of emulation? Do we live in such a way that a son or a daughter may say, ‘I want to follow my dad,’ or ‘I want to be like my mother’?”
-Thomas S. Monson

“Security for our families comes from learning self-control, avoiding the excesses of this world, and being temperate in all things.”
-Kent D. Watson

Friday, February 13, 2009

P.S.

5 comments:

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