Tuesday, August 31, 2010

When it rains, it pours...

Just this morning I said to a friend, "With all I'm going through right now, I'm just grateful all my kids are healthy. I couldn't handle it if they had any issues too."
Well, apparently I can, because "the Lord never gives us a trial we can't handle," right? (scripture citation needed - couldn't find it).
Last night Brianna suddenly started complaining of stomach pain. She started crying and breathing swallow and stumbling around bent over holding her abdomen. I thought maybe it was gas pain because she got into a pack of gum. Ten minutes into her sobbing I got her to lay down with me. She fell asleep for a few minutes and woke up completely happy and normal. I figured (hoped, prayed) that it was random and fleeting and we could move on. Nope. It happened again this morning, then again this evening. But the crying didn't stop this evening. So I called her doc and of course couldn't talk to him (why can't doctors ever talk to you on the phone?!?!) so I had to bring her in. Well, not me of course. Mom did. With Brian, who had to leave work early (not easy for him) and I had to get my neighbor to drop everything and come stay with me and the babies, since I still am not mobile enough to tend them both solo. So getting Brianna to the doctor was quite the feat. Glad we did though... my poor baby has STREP THROAT! So so so sad. Apparently stomach pain is a symptom (?) and she's contagious for 24 hours and hurting for about that long too. So she'll be fine by tomorrow/Thursday. Until then, pray the 3 adults and 2 babies in this house are spared! Maybe I shouldn't have let Brianna go out on so many playdates around town.
Sorry, friend Emily - hope you don't catch this too!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Wound update

Whenever I hear/use the word wound I have this overwhelming urge to don a bad English accent and quote Monty Python, "It's just a flesh wound!" But sadly, just like in the movie, my wound is far worse than a flesh wound. It's infected. I just got back from the routine "wound check" at the ER where they took off the brace and all the bandages (which felt SO good - my skin got to breath and air out for a few minutes). There's a slight infection. The ER doc (a different one than I had Wednesday night, but this one had similar lack of sympathy for my pain and weird sense of humor - maybe ER medical staff is different than regular nurses and physicians, just because they constantly see people in excruiating pain and have to deal with bums off the street a lot) said the infection was minor right now, but if it spreads then I have to be hospitalized, and worst case scenario - lose my leg. I waited for him to laugh at his little joke. He didn't laugh. So I'm under orders now to do a whole bunch of stuff that makes my life harder. Eg: warm compresses 6x/day, removing the brace as often as possible, redressing my wound if I want to walk anywhere, take showers washing the wound w/ baby soap, take a mild antibiotic.... actually, the doc wanted to give me a strong antibiotic shot (in my BUM, ew) but I told him I'm breastfeeding twins and he said nevermind, unless I wanted babies with thrush and yeast diaper rash infections. Glad I told him. That's all I need! In fact, another thing I need to remember to be grateful for is that my children are all healthy and doing well. Ya know how, whenever your kid is sick, you always wish you could take their pain away and it could be YOU instead of THEM suffering... well I am definitely glad it's me with the problems and not them.
I also had an MRI today  (ten points if you already knew what that stood for. I had to ask. Magnetic Resonance Imaging). Have you ever seen one of those MRI machines?! They're like space ships! Loud, cold, huge... I thought I'd be able to nap while laying there for 20-30 minutes. But I was afraid aliens would show up for the rest of the medical exam.  We find out the results Monday. If the patellar tendon is completely torn, I go in for surgery. If there's just a hole in it, we wait and see if it heals itself. Then I spend the rest of my life at risk of patellar tendonitis. I'm starting to think I'll never get "complete an Ironman" off my bucket list.
I just had another thought - along with losing my leg, there's another thing I'm really nervous about: the HOSPITAL BILLS!  Ugh.
Cute story: Brianna just came in and I asked her if she wanted to see my owie. She came up to it and her face just fell. "OOOOOOhh NO!....I kiss it all better." She kissed it and looked up at me with a hopeful smile, "You all better now, Mommy?"
I wish!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Cancel my half marathon plans next month.

Last night I tripped outside and fell on some sharp rocks. I got two large lacerations on my right knee and small scrapes and cuts on my other leg and elbows. I saw my knee cap. We spent all night at the ER. I got 22 stitches. One gauge was 5 cm long and one inch deep, the other 4 cm in a hockey stick shape and a half inch deep. I'm so grateful to my friends and neighbors who came right away to help with the kids. My patella tendon has a large tear. Brian took a picture. If anyone wants to throw up I'll send it to ya. I'm in a stiff knee brace and crutches for the next few weeks. I never realized how nice being able to bend my knee is until I couldn't do it anymore. The fall and the anesthesia needles were the most painful experiences of my life. But I'm not in pain anymore - just completely uncomfortable and totally helpless. Brian can take a little time off work. Kindof.  But really... I don't know what I'm going to do. I hate.hate.hate. that my clutziness is going to be a burden on others.
I'm grateful I don't have stairs in my house.
I also cracked my cell phone and broke my thumb nail. 

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Photos from week one

I really wanna make this post better... organize/edit the pictures, make collages, write captions, add stories... but I really wanna sleep too. Like a fat kid wants cake.
So in all it's disorganizedness - I present our first week home, in pictures:
Ok, I lied. A few words:
Big hugemungous thankyou to my mom. These photos do not show even a fraction of the fun and helpful things she did while here. She created "activity bins" for Brianna. There are 8 of them, organized and labeled, each with all the supplies needed for projects like finger painting, watercoloring, sticker pictures, playdough, etc. Mom read to Brianna endlessly. She took her to parks and to the beach. She helped her eat healthy meals. She did her hair and got her dressed everyday. She took her on nature walks and shopping trips. She put up with all her tantrums and 2-yr-old demands with perfect patience and none of that typical grandparent-spoiling junk. My mom really should teach the Love & Logic parenting program courses.
When she wasn't with Brianna, she was holding babies, changing diapers, bringing me water and food, helping me cope with all the pain I was in those first few days, taking pictures, doing errands for me...
I owe her more than I could ever repay. 

I realize a few of the photos do need explanation. The one with Brianna crying next to the Bumbo by Brian's legs: She was upset because Brian put the baby in the Bumbo, when SHE wanted to do it. Add that to her list of irrational tantrum causes. The photos with the big blue boppy pillow - that's my special EZ-2-Nurse Twins pillow. Lovelovelove it. Anyone who ever has twins must own one. I'd get this before buying diapers or clothes or baby shampoo. The other brightly colored boppy in several photo was given to me by our sweet Alabamian neighbor Debra. I use that for nursing just one, but mostly for the babes to nap on. Another photo has Bennett being held up next to a figure underneath a white blanket. That's Brianna. She was playing peekabo with him. Very sweet. Photo of me on the computer (our new eMac desktop - I really like it!) - it was the first time Brian saw me carrying the babies in a sling and multitasking. He thought it was the coolest thing ever and wanted a picture. I look annoyed - I'm not. Just trying to get the delivery-day post done  (been working on it foreevvvvveerrr... in small increments... like everything else I try to get done these days!)   The plantains:  mom made those for us.  A-MAZ-ING.  Bathtub photo of Brianna:  I know, not twin related. But I still have to remember my firstborn, right? I thought she looked cute playing with her tub toys. The two photos with Courtney wearing a zillion headbands and bows:  Brianna's having fun with her baby sister. Too much fun. We have to monitor her closely and explain the importance of allowing the baby breathing room.

I'd like to say week one was fun... but I'm mostly just glad it's DONE.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Week 2

I’ll start off with the biggest bestest news – our 2 week checkup today went so well! Courtney is 6lb 9oz and Bennett is 6lb 4oz! The goal was just to have regained birth weight, but they surpassed that by far. Our doc also seemed surprised that we haven’t done any supplementing. I didn’t like that though – he of all people should know it’s very possible to exclusively BF twins. It just takes a lot of effort. And perhaps complete sleep deprivation. At least it has for me. Last night was awful – I slept from 3-3:15am. That’s it. The night before was better – I got 3 two hour sleep stretches. I can survive on that. But the 15 minutes… ugh. My eyelids and head are pounding. I’m managing to function ok… but eventually I know I’ll crash from lack of real restorative sleep. I probably shouldn’t drive. The doc said to just work on getting them to sleep and eat at the same times. Genius. Why hadn’t I thought of that…
The rest of their stats looked great too. Bennett’s 19.75 inches and Courtney is 20.25. Their heads are in the 13% percentile. Weights were the 4th and 7th. So not exactly chunky monkeys… YET. But I couldn’t be happier about their clean bill of health. I’ve been praying for that everyday. It’s what makes all this sacrificing worth it. On Friday we had our first solo outing. Not all three kids – I don’t think I’ll EVER take all 3 out by myself. At least not until the babies can hold their heads up solo. We went to the library for the monthly La Leche League meeting. I love going there and being surrounded by like-minded women. Well, in regards to BFing anyway. My friend Marie came too – she birthed NINE pound twins at home 6 weeks ago! I can’t even imagine. The meeting was awkward, as far as juggling the babies. I had to ask my friend Mary next to me to trade off holding babies so I could feed each one separately. Feeding tandem in public is just too awkward. I don’t think I’ll take the twins out again til next month’s meeting. And church on Sundays. That’s it. Our first Sunday went ok – Bennett slept the whole time in Brian’s arms, and Courtney came with me to the Mother’s Lounge right after Sacrament, where we stayed for about an hour before going home. I thought I’d be able to listen to the talks via the intercom, but the room was full of chatting ladies. Some weren’t even nursing their babies – they were just hanging out, or bottlefeeding. I’m ok with not getting out of the house very often. I’m kindof a homebody. Minus running. Really craving a long trail run. I think I’ll make my first attempt on Saturday. Cute story - Brianna often walks into a room, sees just one baby and asks, “where’s the other one?” And she has to kiss and “pet” each baby before going to sleep at naptime and bedtime. She used to prefer to only hold Courtney ("Cour-ten-ee"), but now she holds whichever one is available. Another funny story – this may be TMI for some of you readers (if anyone is actually reading all of this!), Brianna saw one baby crying and comes up to me, grabs my chest, and tries to pull me over while saying, “Give him your boob! Drink milk!” Another one - Brianna came up to Bennett and patted his head and said, “I love you soooo much. Soooo much.” But then her head-patting got a little TOO hard. So while I don’t believe she’d ever consciously hurt her siblings, I don’t trust her alone with them. She’s also put blankets over their faces, saying, “I tuck you in, you go night-night.” Scaaaary.
I get asked about differences between the babies…. And every time I think I’ve identified one, they change their minds. But usually Bennett is the better eater. He latches on easier and takes himself off when done, while Courtney usually needs more help and prodding. Bennett is usually more content to just sit and chill, while Courtney wants to be held during awake times. They can both do a great squealing piglet imitation. Or sometimes it sounds like a baby eagle. They usually do this while having their diaper changed. Isn’t it weird how infants hate being naked but toddlers love it?! We’ve been super blessed this week to have our ward bringing dinners every night. And most everyone remembered the rule – don’t give us any dishes we have to return! It’s been actually pretty fun to have surprise meals. I could really get used to this delivery service thing. But now that’s over and we will return to scrounging around in the freezer last minute to throw dinners together. Or resort to sandwiches/cereal. It’s all fine with me. And Brian usually gets nice lunches during the week since he takes accounts out to restaurants, so he can survive lame dinners. I lovelovelove sleeping on my back and on my stomach now. I refuse to sleep on my side anymore after pregnancy forced me to for those last few months. And somehow I think it’s going to magically help this dang tummy pooch go away. I need a girdle or spanx or something. It’s definitely getting smaller every day… but not fast enough. Last week I looked 6 months pregnant, now maybe just 3. I probably won’t be happy til I lose a full 15 lbs. But I’m glad my belly button finally went back in. Oh – Courtney’s cord fell off yesterday. Bennett’s is still hanging on so the doc wants us to let it have more air access and put rubbing alcohol around the bottom.
Well.. pretty sure this is turning into a boring ramble by now. But maybe someday I’ll be glad I took the time to sit down and ramble-type once a week.

Monday, August 16, 2010


Brianna loves to "pet" her siblings while they nap:

I'm not really into the whole co-sleeping thing... at least I thought I wasn't... but I'm in survival-mode. And this little co-sleeper we borrowed from Erika (THANKYOU!) is awesome. I don't have to worry about my hard-sleeper hubby rolling over onto them because of the little walls, and it keeps them close together which they seem to enjoy. And of course - they're right next to me for night feedings so I don't have to get out of bed. Now if they'd just start doing their 4 hour naps during the night instead of during the DAY, my eyelids wouldn't hurt so bad!