Dear Brianna,

Since you won't remember nor appreciate the efforts and funds we would have to expend to conform to the society-honored gluttonous traditions expected on this milestone day of your life.... we're just going to spend it simply doing the activities you love to do. Coloring, games, church & nursery, favorite snacks, naptime with daddy, walks outside, wrestling, movies, long bath, door-bell ringing, animal sounds, finger paints, songs, more snacks, more snacks, kick snow, visit neighbors, call Papa, cook something, clean windows, hide-n-seek, call Nonny, play in the shower, try on hats, paint toes and nails... and I'll try to take little videos of all it, so in the future you'll know how crazy and fun you were at age 2. If you throw a tantrum for any reason, I will also video that, so know what you were really like at this age.
But what you may never know is how strongly your parents love you.

Two years ago today you brought more joy into my life than I ever imagined possible.


ps - 28 lbs (66th%), 34.5 inches (65th%)

Bloated or showing?

With my first pregnancy, I didn't even tell my coworkers that I was pregnant until I was 20 weeks along. I wore regular pants with the rubberband-trick for 10 weeks after that.
But now, at a mere 13 weeks... I had to wear my empire-waist temple dress today instead of my regular one. And I have banished all snug-fitting shirts because I don't have a cute little volleyball-sized bump poking out - I just look bloated.
Maybe this wouldn't have happened if I had been puking the last couple months like normal preggie girls, instead of feeling just fine. It's all downhill from here, folks. I'm going to go through my closet and take half of the items out and label them "clothes I reallyreally hope I'm wearing loosely a year from now."
I'm not taking/posting pictures of my "growth" - partially due to self-consciousness, and partially to the narcissistic nature of it. I might post a photo at the very end, just to blow your mind with my ginormity.
Somebody should warn Brianna that storytime will have to be done sitting side-by-side, because her younger siblings are gradually pushing her farther and farther off my lap.

A week of Brianna moments

Whenever Brianna does anything I deem cute/funny/gross/smart/silly/weird or otherwise noteworthy, I always tell myself I should write that down. Then I don't and I forget it and sit there thinking, "what was that thing she did I was going to tell Brian about and put on the blog?!?!" So this past week I've kept a post in draft mode and just added a couple things each day that I want to remember:
1/28 - I asked Brianna if she wanted to go swimming. She looked confused and said, "where's Papa?? Where's Nonny??" (she went swimming with them in Spokane a couple weeks ago and must think THEY are her swimming buddies, not me).
-Fortunately at the pool I had her in a tight swim diaper... because, as she ALWAYS (not exaggerating) does - she defecated. Big time. I think all the kicking and running gets her bowels going.
- We walked by a picture of my mom on the wall and she pointed to it and said, "Nonny friend."
1/30 - We were in Spanish Fork at Brian's parent's condo. Brianna was playing with her cousin Ali with a baby cradle. Brianna started singing, "rock-a-bye baaabbyyy...rock-a-bye baaaabbyyy..." I have no idea how she learned that tune.
1/31 - Brian and I gave talks in sacrament meeting. We didn't wanna risk ruining the spirit by having Brianna there to yell out, "MY MOMMY!" So we had our neighbors, Tom and Debra, have her at their house. When I went to go pick her up for Nursery, I found out they had taken her to Walmart and bought her an Elmo toy. I don't know if they know we don't shop on Sunday... but now Brianna says, "no church - I go shopping!" =P
2/2 - I asked Brianna how many babies she wants. She said two, but held up all five fingers. I asked her how old she would be on her birthday this weekend, and she again said TWO, but held up all five fingers. Ok, now it's not sounding as funny as it was when it happened. Had to be there, I guess.
2/3 - Brian had a basketball game at church. Brianna really wanted to go, but it didn't start until 8pm. Call me an uptight child-sleep-nazi, but bedtimes are somewhat inflexible. But Brianna kept asking, saying, "I go see Daddy play soccerball!" I corrected her, but she insisted that it was soccerball, not basketball.
2/4 - As Brianna and I were leaving the grocery store, she ran up to the large Dumbo pay-to-ride kid's machine and yelled out, "Mommy, give me MONEY!" She must have seen some other kid do this before, because I certainly have never forfeited my quarters for those yucky outdated lame rides! I told her, "we can go home and you can do chores to earn money and pay for your own ride. She said, "yeah" with a blank stare, but just stayed on there waiting for money to magically appear from me.
- Brianna's behavior during prayers is hit-and-miss. Sometimes she will sit still with her arms folded and head bowed the whole time, and other times she ignores us. Lately she has started repeating what we say as we say it. So tonight, out of the blue Brian asked Brianna, "do YOU want to say the family prayer tonight?" I looked at him like - "do you realize you are speaking to a baby?" But Brianna said, "yeah." Then folded her little arms, bowed her little head, and started off with "Deah Henvey Fadder, tank you foh dis daaayyyy...." and the rest was a little unintelligible. I caught a few words - daddy, sleep well, safety, house, Jesus - she kept going on and on, so I finally prodded her with "in the name of..." and she ended it with a resounding AMEN! Then started singing her usual goodnight song and walked towards her bed. I was almost in tears. Proud mommy moment.
2/5 I was babysitting the neighbor kids and my friend Michelle was over with her kids. So there was a 5 yr old, two 3 yr olds, two 2 yr olds, and a baby... all in my tiny 1200 sq ft house. Brianna wasn't accustomed to all the commotion and chaos. She's used to being the center of attention in a relatively calm environment 99% of the time. But she found a way to GET that attention... I didn't notice her leave the room, nor did I notice her at all until I hear one little boy yelling, "she's NAKED!" and I look over to see Brianna literally running around all the kids, totally in her birthday suit. Maybe she doesn't realize her birthday isn't for a couple more days still.

Daddy-daughter troubles

Lately Brianna has been a little anti-Daddy. It's sad because it hurts Brian's feelings, as he is very pro-Brianna.
She will yell at him and push him away, saying things like "NO daddy!" "MY mommy!" "Daddy go back!" "Mommy do bath - no daddy!"
The weirdest part is... during the day while he's not home, she asks for him at least once an hour. Most often she says, "where Daddy?" And I'll tell her he's at work. Then she'll usually say, "I go see Daddy work. Go to office." and head for the door. It's hard because Brian is super busy when he's at his office - even if I brought her there to see him, he'd be too busy with customers and phone calls and car cleaning and report deadlines. Just today, Brianna answered her own question. She said, "where's Daddy? Daddy working."
Then when he comes home at night, she sprints to the door to greet him... then runs right back to me and glares his direction.
He gets frustrated because he wants to give me a little break from her, and he wants to have some QT. But how can you play with someone who screams at you at swats at your eyeballs?
The eyeball-swatting thing... I think we've curbed it. Just this morning we brought her into our bed since she woke up too early (7:05. That's early. I prefer at least 7:20. Every minute counts) and instead of swatting at Brian, she reached up for his hair and started patting it, saying "nice daddy, nice" as we've been trying to teach her to do.
Brian says she does way better when they're alone together without me, like Tuesday nights when I go to the gym to watch Biggest Loser while elliptisizing. He did dinner, bathtime, and bedtime with her, no problems at all. So maybe I just need to leave every night?!
Hopefully soon she'll switch favorites. I promise I won't be the least bit offended.
I'd love for someone to tell me their child does something like this too.

From a previous lifetime...

I have felt a little urgency lately to do more organizing/de-junking/project completion. I still have 6 months left, but I have this paranoid fear that I'll be on bedrest at the end because I'll be so huge that if I stand upright gravity will put me into labor too early. Knock on wood. Warning: if that ever does happen and I am sedentary for any length of time, you'll want to avoid being near me; I'll be in a really bad mood.
Anyways... so in yesterday's organizational efforts, I began going through some boxes of "college stuff." I was able to throw away some items that make me shake my head in disgust at my own silliness for keeping so much pointless junk. Like a bottle of sand from each of my favorite beaches. How smart am I for lugging those around during the last 5 moves Brian and I have done?! I also had a lot of old classwork I kept....because.... I really don't know why. Because I spent countless hours on them? Because my posterity might care about my paper on the Krebs cycle or my articles that got published in the Ke'Alakai campus paper? I think not.
It feels SO good to have made that box 20 lbs lighter. I do have some sense of sentimental value... I kept a few things. Like the shoes I wore in every single one of my races at BYUH. Totally pointless to keep - they're disgustingly trashed. But when I see them I remember how I felt tying them in my special good-luck method at each starting line. And I kept these ID cards from campus and the PCC jobs that Brian and I had. These ID photos were taken in September 2003 - right when we first met and started dating and I began thinking of ways to make him go away so he didn't try to get me go back to Utah with him. Obviously I eventually gave in.
Anyways... thankyou for reading my self-indulgent trip down memory lane.
I'll try to stay on task from now on and do Brianna and twin-related posts only.

After I post a few more fun pictures from dating days.Good. times.

McKell mountain rendevous

I don't know what's more lame: doing an extremely belated post, or not blogging about a fun event just because it's like 7 months after the fact.
I'll be on the safe side and post this:Last summer we spent a few days up in the mountains at a ranch with Brian's siblings and parents. I wouldn't call it a family reunion, since everyone wasn't there, but it was definitely the most fun McKell get-together we've ever had. Brianna loved running around outside all day, playing on the swings, seeing the horses, and going on the paddle boats in the "lake." I didn't take many pictures, but I did take a video of Jami and I going down the zipline and landing in the water - click here for that. It was a great location - my friend's family owns the property and rents it out. There was no phone coverage and electricity was limited, so I was "roughing it" about as much as I'm happy with. Call me prissy. I won't pretend to be an extremely outdoorsy person. Not for lengthy periods anyways. I like warm showers and sanitary conditions.
I'd love to go back to this place with my own family. I know they'd like it. I just don't wanna go this summer cuz I'll be too pregnant to go down the zipline without my parents reporting me to DCFS. And watching everyone else do it without me would be torture. Though I should probably get used to it. I've decided to be done doing races, and it's already driving me nuts to see local fun runs advertised. Anyways... I'm rambling. Back to catching up on belated posting...

How twins are made

I've received some interesting responses and questions regarding our news of twins on the way. One of them is, "wow, how'd you get twins?"

Here is the answer:

wireless DTR

Brian's contract with Verizon ended.
My contract with AT&T ended.
It was time to take our relationship to the next level - a shared family plan.

But... whose company do we switch to?

We had to define our relationship.

And the winner is...

Though it seems like the answer is ME - it was actually mutually agreeable (especially once Brian saw the sweet phone included with his new AT&T contract). The fact is... while I only use about 400 minutes/month, I use about 2000 mobile to mobile minutes. He doesn't even touch that. So if we join any other service, I start having to pay for all my talk time. Or try to cut conversations with my family members (ha!)

This whole post may seem extremely trivial (as many of my posts probably do to some of you) but having ONE bill and ONE minute plan just makes me feel so much more united with my husband. Like I just wanna give him a big wink and say, "call me anytime baby - it's free."

Are YOU one of our AT&T mobile to mobile freebie friends?

Imagine spending several hours writing a talk for sacrament meeting on receiving answers to prayer. You include several great quotes, some personal stories, scriptures - the works. It flows. It fits the time limit. You're satisfied. Nearly a week later, you go to print it out... and cannot find it anywhere. You search until your eyes hurt. You pray to find your talk on prayer. You are *this close* to throwing the laptop out the window. You then spend hours re-writing the whole dang thing. Right when you finish and go to print...you find the original talk.

It was fun.

I wish I had a picture, but it was one of those moments I didn't want to risk spoiling by running to grab the camera.
Brianna let me brush her teeth! This is huge. Monumental. She has never been good about dental hygiene. She just likes sucking on the toothbrush for 2 seconds then saying, "all done!" or "more pa-pace" (yeah, she gets lazy on the word toothpaste and it comes out oddly). She neverevernever lets anyone help her - totally typical stubborn 2 yr old behavior. But tonight I just said very enthusiastically , "open your mouth really big and I will have so much fun brushing your teeth!" And she let me!
Never imagined something so seemingly trivial would make my day.

Happy fish

We took Brianna swimming almost every day while visiting my parents. She loved it. I forgot her swimsuit, so mom got this yellow one for her. Though adorable, I'm actually quite opposed to allowing children to wear flotation devices. If she were to get into the water at a later date without the supportive gear strapped to her, she may think she can float better than she can. I really believe in teaching a child at the earliest age possible to be comfortable in the water, to love going all the way under, and to kick and paddle and sidebreath their way across unassisted. I saw too many children during my 9 years of swim teaching that were freaked out about getting water on their face or using a kickboard. I vowed - never my children. I'll throw them in before they can walk.
I wish we had a better pool here in Cedar - I miss my parent's pool and the Vernal Rec pool.
And there's my soapbox for the day.

The moment I'll never forget

Top photo: baby B. Middle photo: baby C. Bottom photo: the duo in their bubbles side by side.
So here's the play-by-play: I went in for my 10 week appointment in a horrible mood. I hadn't eaten much all day since everything looks gross, I had Brianna with me since I had forgot to get a babysitter ahead of time, and I thought the whole appointment was pointless since I had just been in for a 6 week ultrasound. Then I had to wait a full 30 minutes because the doc was so behind. Wasting time in waiting rooms infuriates me. I was a little rude to the receptionist, asking if I should just reschedule and come back later, or if in the future I should call ahead to see if they're running behind schedule. Brianna was having a blast in the water fountain and magazine rack. I was frazzled and frustrated to the point of tears. When they finally got me back, the nurse asked if I had any questions. I told her I just wanted to be done and leave asap.
So the doc comes in and starts the ultrasound. Brianna was on the side screaming "MY MOMMY!" and showing her animal crackers how to fly.
I hear the heartbeats and start to calm down. Heartbeats make me happy.
But this heartbeat sound was a little different - it sounded jumpy and scattered and way too fast. So I asked my doctor if the baby looked okay. He said..............
...................................................
.......................................................................

"Yes, both babies look great."

And suddenly my world was happy.

Swagbucks

I was asked to do a post about this site I use to earn free stuff.
I love it.
Simple explanation: Swagbucks is a search engine, like google. Except you earn points - "swagbucks" for doing searches. You save up your swagbucks and trade them in for giftcards. I'm halfway to a free flight on Southwest. My friend Michelle introduced me to this site and usually trades her swagbucks in for Amazon giftcards. There are hundreds of different places to use your swagbucks to buy things. You can also earn swagbucks by finding "codes" that are hidden on the website when you click on sponsors, or the swag-people will text them out randomly or send them out on Facebook. But I mostly earn them by having a Swagbuck search box on my toolbar. Super easy - takes no time at all. I'm basically earning free money doing something I was already doing before - getting online.
It's one of those sites I discovered and thought - why in the world isn't everyone using this?!
Learn more or signup here: swagbucks You start out with 3 free swagbucks when you sign up through that link.
Disclaimer: I hate it when people try to get me to sign up for something so enthusiastically that I wonder what kind of perk they get by referring me. So let's be upfront: for the first 100 swagbucks you earn, I also earn 100. Michelle got 100 for referring me. She deserves it - I'm totally grateful she told me about it.
Ok, stop reading. Go check it out. You'll thank me.

A sweet deal

My neighbor came to my door a few weeks ago with a proposition:

She had to work while her hub schooled. So they would bring their three kids over to my house to play once or twice a week:And in return for the childcare, she would give me a case (thirty pounds) of fresh local honey from her bee-keeping family. Sweet deal! It's great for Brianna to have the interaction, and hopefully I'll be able to enjoy the honey once I get through this first trimester (sadly, it's on my gag list right now. Along with the majority food items with flavors).

A few answers

We had an appointment today with our OB. I'm not even sure why we had it. And we have another in two weeks. My doctor must think I'm high-maintenance. I'm ok with the extra attention though. It's amazingly comforting to hear those two little heartbeats going strong at 180 bpm. Almost makes me cry every time.
A few answers to your (my) vexing questions:
-These babes are fraternal twins (he's 99% sure). That means Brian's family genetics had nothing to do with it. I learned though that even if they are identical, his family history is irrelevant."Twinning is a maternal factor" as the doc said.
-Seven weeks until we find out the genders. I love saying genders. I love saying babies. I love saying anything refering to having two inside me. I might even start using double exclamation points even though they annoy me.
- Due date is August 19th. Technically. Doc said to plan on a late July baby. He said he delivers most twins around thirty six weeks. I'm hoping for August. Though I know I'll be slightly uncomfortable by that stage (an understatement perhaps?) I don't want 4 pounders. The longer they stay in, the bigger and healthier they'll be!
- I got in a little trouble because I've lost 6 pounds since my last visit. I didn't even realize it. Maybe that half marathon I did on Saturday had some effect. But it's probably more due to the fact that the majority of food items look repulsing. I spend a lot of time wandering around my kitchen, trying to think of something that sounds remotely palatable. Nada. But I told the doc not to worry - in a few months, I have no doubt he'll be telling me to sloooow down before I break his scale.
- It's ok to continue sleeping on my back until my belly is bigger (yay!)
- Stay away from unpasteurized foods (gee, that will be tough).
- Take extra folic acid supplements twice a day. Plus 2 prenatals. I feel like a pill popper.
- Drink more water
- Cut down mileage because my joints are loosening (I doubt I'll follow this. I only run about 25/wk. I'll keep it up til I feel uncomfortable. But I am going at a much slower pace - never higher than 8mph on the treadmill. It's annoyingly slow but relaxing).
- I'll have a scheduled c-section. I don't want this though - I'd rather go into labor naturally. It's better for the babies' respiratory system. Those labor hormones help them get ready to breath solo. So we'll see if I can negotiate this one. The other doctor at this clinic will also join in on the surgery, and the resident PA. Brian too. Cuz it'll be a big party and everyone's invited.
- Brian sat there silently the whole time. Finally at the end the doctor asked him how he was doing and if he was a little overwhelmed. He said, "no - I'm fine - I'm just trying to figure out when we should go buy a bigger vehicle."
:) Funny B.

Animated Sabbath

With the new year and customary time change of our church services, we now attend from 11am-2pm. This doesn't work well for our usual 12-2 napper. So each Sunday has been a struggle. We try to get her to sleep in as much as possible, then keep morning activities really low-key and non-tiring so she can make it til 2 without the nap. This means movies.
But only one type, and Brianna knows that by now. So this was our conversation this morning:
Me: Good morning Brianna! Do you want to have breakfast then go watch a movie? Brianna: Yeah. Bambi movie. Me: No, today is Sunday... Brianna: NO JESUS MOVIE! NO! I WANT BAMBI! NO JESUS MOVIES!
But we put one on and she got into it enough to stop complaining. The weird thing is that during the week, she will ASK for a "Jesus movie," and I'll say no - just so it's like a treat on Sunday.
I should explain what exactly we refer to by "Jesus movie." It's the Animated Stories from the New Testament series. I used to watch these every Sunday as a kid - it was all we were allowed to watch (until 5pm. Don't ask me how my parents came up with 5pm being the end of Sunday). We had the whole animated Book of Mormon VHS series, the Old and New Testaments, and the "Heroes" series. I had them all memorized. So a little over 2 years ago, when Brian and I got a knock at the door and it was a cute little RM going door to door selling these DVDs... we were suckers. I should say - I was the sucker. Brian didn't want them (or rather, didn't want to spend the hundreds of dollars) but he doesn't like awkward sales situations so didn't say anything. Actually, anytime a sales person comes to the door, he defers it to me, or tells them his wife isn't home so he can't make the decision. I'm his scapegoat. Anyways.... so being pregnant, I told myself it was for the benefit of our unborn child. And our unborn child needed the entire interactive DVD series, along with the coloring books. And I needed the "Women of the Scriptures" book on CD series that came with it. The Church History and Cleon Skousen DVDs were in the mix too. I had serious buyer's remorse the next day. But now I'm glad we have them.
On a separate but semi-related note... I finally finished my study of the Preach My Gospel book today. I had a goal to finish it in one year. That was two years ago.
I loved it. I don't know if I've ever done more effective scripture study. It made me look up cross references, take notes, focus on basic topics, and learn how to teach others. By "others" - I mean my own children. I substituted the words "your investigator" for "your children" and "missionary" for "parent." We were challenged to do this a couple years ago at a stake conference in our Provo ward. I think from Elder Oaks. I didn't realize how long it would take me - sometimes one page would take a week (though I should mention that this is partially due to my ocassional 5 minute study sessions before crashing). Anyways.... just want to encourage anyone reading this to make sure you have a copy of this manual and use it. It's such an amazing resource. It made me appreciate what full-time missionaries do everyday. I never went on a mission (married at 20) and I'm not sure I could've handled it. But hopefully I'll get at least one little boy who can grow up and go spread the gospel to the world! And Brian and I will definitely do a couple's mission when we're older. In Laie. Or just the North Shore in general. We're flexible like that.
I feel like I'm rambling. That happens with too much Sabbath free time. I better go figure out what to do next for scripture study! Or just go watch another "Jesus movie."

Reactions

Me: "I'm having TWINS?! I'm having TWINS? I'm really having TWINS? I'm having TWINS?" (repeated over and over until I could tell the doctor was annoyed).
Brianna: "NO tvins!"
Brian: "We're going to have to think of TWO names now!" and "We can buy a minivan or SUV from enterprise."
Mom: "You are not having twins." (repeated 40 times) then "Chelsea, I don't like it when you joke about serious things. If you were actually having twins, your father and I would have to drive down there right now and start helping you get ready." and, "if you're serious, this will change the planet. The universe."
Dad: (in monotone voice, not even skeptical - totally unamused - in response to mom yelling "Chelsea has twins"): "She's joking."
Grandpa McKell: "Oh wow - my brother Art's wife had twins, but they both died."
(he apologized later for that. I wasn't offended at all though. He's 92 - he can get away with saying anything)
Cousin Tiffany: ( I called her to find out where Grandma was) "Yep, you'll definitely win the favorite grandchild contest now!"
Grandma Smith: "It's a good thing you're tall - you're going to have to stretch out big!"
Dave: "I don't appreciate you wasting my time with your nonsense stories" [hangs up on me. Then calls back] "I'm really super excited for you and I think it will be cool to have twins in the family. I'm glad they're going to someone who actually wants them."
Aunt Debbie: "My goodness, you'll be busy!"
Nicole: "I'm thinking about the Doublemint song now."
Coach K: "WeeAiiiieeee!" [or however that should be written out... it was his Hawaiian yell]
Barbara: "We're so happy for you. So is it two or three?" and "this happens every other generation in my family!"
Uncle Bill B: "That rocks - I love being a twin." and "Brian must be feeling pretty proud of himself, heh."
Meredith: "How did this happen?!?!"
April: "So now you'll have three and can be done with the whole pregnancy thing!"
Stevie: "Way to go, Octo-mom!"
Brady: "That's awesome....is this because you were taking those drugs?"
Mark: "I want twins too."
Chelsea W: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Lindsay: "I don't believe you." (me: I have pictures to prove it!) "I don't know where you got those ultrasound pictures." (me: Why in the world would I make up a story like this, Linds?!) "Chelsea - you do things like this all the time." then later: "If anyone can handle this, it's you. You'll do great."
Meg: "Are you joking me? Are you joking me? I am so excited for YOU. I'd be freaking out if it was me, but I'm really happy for you!" then later, " I can imagine all of the spirits in line getting ready to go down to earth and an older lady "angel" (I always imagine them older like the workers in the temple) saying to one of the spirits, after she herself had been informed, "there's been a change in plans...you're going to go along with your brother/sister here a little earlier than we'd thought." I then see the spirit SO EXCITED to get to come a little earlier. YAY!!"
Crystal: "That's awesome! You've always wanted twins! ...You're gonna get huge!"
[Nice friends]: some form of "congrats, how exciting!"
[Inconsiderate friends]: some form of "wow, I'd never wanna have multiples - good luck."

Thank you to all those who offered positive encouragement! To those who didn't - you can't rain on my parade!

Hints

- We have to buy a larger vehicle. A much larger vehicle.

- There is NO way I'm getting a dog or a cat after yesterday's news from the doc.

- I'm supposed to eat an extra 600 calories per day.

- Brianna is reallyreally going to have to learn to share.

- I need to go to the library and get a stack of books on a topic I have read veryvery little on.

- Our next childbirth experience will definitely be another c-section.

- My previous goal of not gaining more than 25 lbs during this pregnancy is unrealistic now.

- I won't be making it to the full 40 weeks again.

-Others who have also had this experience are the ones most excited for us. They say it's double the fun and joy. The naysayers and pessimists have NOT actually had this miracle and therefore need to stop discouraging us.

- Brian is extremely proud of himself.

- The blog title will be changed to B & c & b & c & b

- I'm running for three.

- My dreams have come true. This is what I've always wanted.

Brianna and The Chipmunks

Mountain of clothes

Brianna gave all her 12-18 month size clothes to Lily last week.

 It filled a 49 lb suitcase. 

If she wears at least 2 outfits per day, she might be able to wear everything once. 

Note:  I bought none of this. All were gifts or hand-me-downs. Ridiculous, I know. 

Lily is holding the pink tutu and smiling. She's definitely Meredith's child. 

Home

I finally left home and arrived home.
I said goodbye to my family to return to my family.

Isn't it interesting how the definitions of the words home and family change as we start our own? Brian and Brianna are my family. My home is in Cedar City. But last night, sitting by the fireplace playing boardgames with my dad, mom, and sister... it was very easy to feel like I was at home with my family.

I had a wonderful "vacation." I put that words in quotes because in my mind, a vacation needs to involve sand and sunshine and foreign language. But I didn't have to cook for 2 weeks, so this trip still can fall in the vacation category.

It's nice to be back in Cedar. I like feeling like I have control over my environment. At my parent's house, if I leave a dish by the sink, hours later it's gone and washed. If I leave dirty clothes near the washer, they're magically clean and dried within 24 hours. The gas tank of every vehicle I drive never seems to hit empty. It's horrible. I have no control whatsoever.

But now I'm home. If I don't start dinner, dinner doesn't happen. If I don't keep up with laundry, it multiplies and takes over the hallway. No one fills my refrigerator but me. The utility bill doesn't magically get paid.

Maybe I should change my definition of home and move back there.

Movie review

Dad took Meredith and I out on a movie date today. He wanted to take us to Avatar. We showed up and it was sold out. Lesson learned: buy tickets online in advance. So we settled for Leap Year. I kept waiting for the plot to start. I'm pretty sure I've seen this same movie several times, just under different titles. Yawwwwnnnn. But - I really like Amy Adams. She was in Enchanted and Julie & Julia. She actually grew up LDS til she was 11. Or so the www tells me. And the Irish co-star, Matthew Goode, made me want to dance an Irish jig. So it wasn't a total waste of time. While we were waiting for the movie to start, Mere and I walked into The Lovely Bones and watched about 15 minutes of it. Totally want to see that one. But later. I'm a Redbox person.
Mom took care of Brianna and Lily for us while we were gone. When I asked her how that went, she replied, "well - one acted like a 2 yr old the whole time, and the other acted like a baby."

Hairy stories

For Meredith's birthday last week, she asked me for one present: to allow her to highlight my hair. She's been begging for years now. I finally gave in.

I know - kinda silly - what kind of person repeatedly turns down an offer for free professional highlights?! Me. The (former) owner of "virgin" hair. I just hate the thought of dealing with "roots" and having to pay gazillions and schedule lengthy appointments at smelly salons. Plus, after each summer I end up with natural highlights. Especially when I used to be outside all day long running and teaching swimming lessons. It felt so unnatural to have that foil junk in my hair and see her painting me with smelly goop. I did this just once before - about 11 years ago at a cosmetology school. The girl messed up and turned my highlights purple. I wanted to keep them but my mom made me let them fix it. Their "fixing" involved several strands chemically frying off. I swore off permanent/drastic hair changes after that traumatic event.
But Meredoo promised me these would be so subtle that I wouldn't have to keep them up.
She was right - I really like them. I guess I should post a photo of the results. But then I'd have to do some awkward glamour pose. I'll try to find a middle ground. Or just come see me in person. If you're ever in Spokane, hire Mere to do your hair. She's good.
But she also chopped off like 10 feet of hair. I feel bald. I told her 1-2 inches. She always laughs when I say that. She keeps threatening to cut Brianna's hair, to "even it out." But I think I've sufficiently scared her enough that she wouldn't dare (I told her I would then cut HER daughter's hair). I wish I knew what Brianna's hair would look like if it had never been cut. I don't want her to have bangs (too high-maintenance - I'm anti high-maintenance, if you didn't get that part), so we're going through an awkward stage where I'm letting them grow out and I have to pin them to the side. Or just let her look wild.
Speaking of hair... Brianna's latest quirk is that she kindof freaks out if she finds a hair somewhere. Like if she's in the tub and one gets stuck between fingers. Or she picks something up off the ground that has a hair attached. Or in her food (understandable). She starts yelling, "MOMMY - a 'AIR! 'AIR! Git OFF!" So interesting how kids learn/decide that one thing or another is undesirable and worthy of flipping out about.

Replaced.

I used to sit by my Dad and share his apple slices.

Brianna has taken my place.

Brianna and Lily

18 months apart, just like their mommies.

Papa and Nonny's Cedar visit

I mentioned that my parents stayed with us a few weeks ago, but I didn't add any details beyond the baby blessing festivities and our ski trip. Here are a few more of our little adventures in Cedar:

We picked them up at the St. George airport. The photos (left to right, up to down) give the play-by-play: we waited by the gate with Brianna swinging from the security poles, I hid around the corner while Mom and Dad came in to find Brianna, she ran away from them (though had been talking about how excited she was to see them for several days prior), I hugged mom, Dad hugged Brian (a little awkward for Brian - he didn't come from a hugging family - he must learn the Smith ways), Mom chased Brianna for a hug, then she and dad sat back and let Brianna come to them, they captured her finally and squeezed, then Mom won Brianna's endearment by taking her to the automatic hand santizer machine.

Pirate's Island in St. George was a fun place to go for dinner. Fun - meaning I didn't have to try to force my toddler into unnatural behavior (ie, sitting in the same place for more than 5 minutes). They have a great games-center and "little pirates" play area. Mom used all our tokens on the ski ball and had a tough time sharing with Brianna. I had to remind her to set a good example. Brian and Dad enjoyed man-talk time (top middle photo). We had coupons for 2 free salad bars (I LOVE our Dixie Direct book). Getting Brianna to leave resulted in the episode depicted in the previous post (screaming wiggly fish).

Nonny and Papa took Brianna to Discovery Park and a cute little bookstore.

Dad - unable to sit still - took it upon himself to install strong shelving and organize our garage! He also fixed a squeaky door and waxed my skiis. That's my love language - acts of service. Not gifts, not quality time, not words of affirmation... DOING nice things. That's why, while I'm here in Washington visiting my parents, I spent 10 hours cleaning out and organizing their jumungous basement. I knew he'd appreciate it more than anything else.

Mom insisted on visiting our city's only health-food store. She's way into that kind of thing. Dad isn't. But he came in when I told him about their awesome "oatscreme" - like icecream, but made out of oats and vanilla. Brianna loves it.

Bottom right photo: we had our neighbors, Tom and Debra, over for dinner one night. Mom helped me prepare a decent feast. This photo was after it was all cleared away - I was too busy playing hostess to take a picture of the spread. By playing hostess, I mean restraining Brianna from making scenes.

Most of all, I really enjoyed seeing my parents play with Brianna. They got right on the floor with her. Books, puzzles, Cooties... she was smothered in attention.

That's all. We reallyreally enjoyed having them. It probably would've been their only visit to Cedar during our time there (which will likely be another year or so), but they'll have to come again for the new baby this summer! That's the real reason we decided to get pregnant - to lure my parents back for another visit.

Brianna's new Step-Great-Grandma

Grandpa Berrett tied the knot last weekend!
We're thrilled for him. It's so nice to know he's happy and not alone.

I wish we could've showed our support by attending the festivities, but he only gave a day's notice to everyone! Brian and I were both in Spokane. So we'll have to send a card.
Grandpa Berrett has worked hard to keep himself healthy throughout his life, and he deserves these fun active Golden Age years with a companion (for time only).
If anything were to happen to me (I don't know why people use this phrase - let's just say what we really mean - if I DIED...) I would totally want Brian to not be alone. If he wanted to, he would re-marry quite easily (cuz he's totally a catch, in my opinion). But I'd want him to marry for time only, and with a pre-nup, to make sure Brianna gets all his dough. If the opposite happened, I think I'd survive ok solo. But, in general, men seem to be a little more socially co-dependent. Pretty sure research supports that.
Aaaaanyways... consider this the beginning of my living will. I've been meaning to go create a legal one - so our munchkins and assets go where we want them to - but I hate forking over the legal/notary fees. I'll just plan on living forever.

Like a fish out of water

That's the best way I can think of to describe Brianna's meltdowns when we have to force her to leave somewhere she doesn't want to leave. It's like trying to hold a live fish in your hands. A live fish desperately trying to get back in the water. Flinging, flopping, arching, slapping, wigglying, kicking... We decided to document this particular fishing episode - it was an attempt to exit Pirate Island (an arcade/fun house in St. George).
Please tell me your two year old does this too.

Brianna's first T-Bird game

I was really hesitant to bring Brianna to a college basketball game. But when Brian called and made a formal-ish invitation to join him on a date night... couldn't really say no. So a couple of weeks ago we traveled the 4 miles from our house to see the Thunderbirds take on... the other team. Can't remember who it was. That's how into the game I was. Brianna took up most of my attention. She did surprisingly well! We got such a kick out of her clapping and cheering along with everyone else. The middle photo shows her mid-clap. The top right photo shows her in mid-"hooray!" I loved it when she yelled that. The people in front of us also thought it was cute, though probably not cute enough to make up for how annoyed they were at her kicking their seats occasionally. Sorry people. Bottom right photo is Brianna making an escape attempt - another reason I can't remember any game details. I was benevolent and self-sacrificing enough to allow Brian the game-watching time while I took Brianna on wandering trips. Ha. I admit it - watching others play (most) sports just doesn't curl my toes. How stereotypical am I?! Sheesh. At least I was there and supportive of Brian's hobby. And now I've blogged about it so I can remember to remind him of this fact for years to come.

Greetings

Since I took a picture of our Christmas card stash last year, I thought I'd show this year's display.
Many thanks to all those who sent their cute, thoughtful holiday wishes.

Brianna really wanted to take them all down. While the tree and other decorations are packed away, I think these cards might stay up for a little while longer. It makes me happy to see them every day.

Inmate

Poor kid. She's never been crazy about going to the childcare at the gym. She doesn't put up a huge fight, but our conversation usually goes like this:
"Brianna, we're going to the gym. I am going to workout and you get to play with all the toys at the daycare!"
b: "Go shopping?"
me: "no, we can't go shopping. Maybe later."
b: "go to park?"
me: "no, we're not going to the park. Maybe later. We have to go to the gym."
She eventually gives up trying to offer alternatives. She gives a big pout and one last plea as I "abandon" her... then reluctantly accepts her fate and begins playing.
But the second she sees me through the window on my way to rescue her, this is what I see:

Proof I have too much free time:

A 20-hour Smith Family Calendar project.
Created 8 copies from my computer and my printer and $95 worth of ink, paper, and binding supplies.
Every single family member is featured on every single month (so no one can complain about over- or under-representation).
Click to enlarge.

The quotes around the photos are selected from a previous family calendar quote project done by Meg and Steve in past years. They have everyone submit favorite scriptures, quotes, jokes, memories, etc and compile them into a "daily thought" flip-calendar.
The bottom half (I can't upload that on here because it's a Word document - anyone know if it's possible to upload Word docs onto a blog post?) is a regular monthly calendar format, with each family member's name on their birth date. No excuses to forget to call each other on that day!

The main thought going through my head during the 2 weeks I spent obsessively working on this project was, "THESE PEOPLE BETTER APPRECIATE THIS!"

Much thanks is owed to my patient, tolerant husband. He helped me deal with the several setbacks and mistakes I made that caused me so much weeping and gnashing.
His advice: "maybe next year you should start this project in August or September..."

From Brianna's mouth, or other end

Brianna came to me last night and said, "Mommy, I go park?"
I responded, "Sorry - we can't. It's dark outside now."
She said, "turn on LIGHT!"

I was sitting in front of the laptop working on a project. Apparently I had tuned out Brianna, because she finally got right up in front of my face, grabbed my head with both her hands and said "LOOK at MEEE mommy!"

While Brianna and I wrestling, she BIT me! She hasn't done that since back in the nursing days. While that hurt worse, this made me very upset. I don't want a biter. How to punish the biting if it occurs again??

I went into Brianna's room when I heard her waking up from her nap. Our typical routine is to cuddle a little and read or just talk until she's fully awake. I often ask her "did you have a nice nap?" Well, this time, the first thing out of her mouth was, "Mommy, I had a nice nap." Ok, that doesn't sound as funny as I'm writing it down as it was when she said it to me. You'll just have to trust me it was THE MOST hilarious thing in the world. Ever. Nothing's ever been more funny.

We were at a New Year's Eve party with some other families and we were being introduced to some friends. I told Brianna to say hi. Instead, she took the opportunity to lift her shirt up and say, "MY BELLY!"

Brianna has THE stinkiest toots ever. Sorry to be so crude. But it's an in-my-face problem (literally) almost daily. Seriously, she could clear the Savannah after every meal (we just watched Lion King).

Updated McKell-side photo

From December 19th family Christmas party

Sabbath in Vegas

Last Sunday we were thinking of how we could best keep the Sabbath day holy.
We decided that hanging out in Vegas would be the most appropriate activity possible. Actually, we had two legit reasons for temporarily leaving Zion: 1) Baby blessing of Lucy Smith, Brady's new daughter 2) Our neighbors from Alabama (I've written about them before) flew in and asked us to pick them up.
So we left a little after 7 (because everyone slept in and I woke them all up just barely in time to rush out the door and make it to the church in Henderson 3 minutes early). The baby blessing went very well and Lucy looked even more beautiful in person. After a lovely luncheon and hanging out at Brady's in-laws (where Brianna embarrassed me with her squirrelish behavior) we headed to the Venetian hotel to pick up our neighbor friends.
Tom and Debra insisted on taking us on a little tour around their favorite spots along the strip. We saw the typical spots - Mirage, Treasure Island, Bellagio, the Volcano-thing, and 500 nearly naked girls. Lots of cute (ridiculously expensive) little shops, giant bears made out of bazillions of flowers, gorgeous Christmas displays, and one indoor area with a fake sky that totally made you feel like you were outside. In Italy. If it weren't for the excessive 2nd hand smoke we were all inhaling, I might have really enjoyed it. We had to walk through several large casinos, where I witnessed the funding source for all the amazing decor: gambler's lost money. I walked by one table where, within 5 seconds, a man put down 5 chips (worth $100 each, I later learned) and had them swooped away at the roll of a dice. He then put more chips down. Sick. Our friend won $1000 off of one quarter put into a (very cool-looking, I admit) slot machine! But then continued to spend til those winnings were lost. Even if I didn't have any religious belief in the wrongness of gambling... I still think I could never bring myself to risk hard-earned money in something so pointless.
There's my soapbox for the day.
Bottom left photo: a statue that turned out to be a well-painted real person standing very still. I hope she gets paid a lot for that. Photo above that: Brianna enjoying her gelato treat our friends bought her. $7.50 a scoop. Insane.
In several photos, Tom and Debra are holding Brianna. She wouldn't let them do that for long, but it gave me enough of a break so my arms didn't completely die. Thirty pounds of wiggly toddler carried for 2 hours in crowded smokey areas really wears this pregnant lady out.
The nice warm weather in the middle of winter was the best part about viva-ing Las Vegas.

The last Christmas post - I promise.

Since I'm spelling out every mundane detail of our relatively uneventful Christmas, I may as well continue with the rest...
I hope everyone has at least heard of the "5 Love Languages." I totally believe in that theory. The book(s) are wonderful. Brian's love language is gifts - he likes them. Lots of them. So I have to give him lots of gifts. But mine is more "acts of service." I do not want a lot of things. I want him to clean the house and give me backrubs and fold the laundry. So at the beginning of our marriage, we had trouble because he wanted to give me gifts, and I wanted to do service for him, but that's not what either of us interpreted as showing love. So we've learned. He just gave me one tangible gift this year - a gift cert to a spa here in town called "Better Than Chocolate." He rented to the owner, and she gave him a $300 gift card for a fraction of the price. That honestly makes me love the gift even more! It's a full spa day - mani/pedi, scalp massage, hair design (obviously, I could use it - but if they suggest more than a trim they'll get glared at), hot stone massage, facial.... can't wait!
I gave Brian a bunch of little things, and one big gift: 3 full suits from Jos A. Banks (I found a killer deal online). Pictured above is him opening the bag of "Island Teriyaki Jerky," a pizza cutter, a book by John Grisham called Playing For Pizza (he read it in a few days - a rarity for B!), and some movies - the Gordon B. Hinckley story, a BOM/restoration one, and a few blockbusters from the 90's that I picked up at a yard sale.
Bottom right photo: Brian with his gourmet breakfast - apple pancakes and Winder Farms bacon, on the "you are special" plate that Brianna broke yesterday. It was a wedding present. Now it is in the garbage, and added to the list of glass items Brianna has broken. Dang tile floor.
Top right photo: Brianna doing a nice, genuine smile (a rarity to catch on camera these days) with HER gourmet breakfast: Cheerios in almond milk. My gourmet breakfast: leftover chicken stirfry from the night before. Blame it on the pregnancy cravings.

More Christmas THANKS

This one is for Brianna's Nonny and Papa, who sent us two large boxes full of Christmas joy. Though my mother claims she really "scaled back" this year, I feel just as spoiled as usual! We had a lot of fun opening everything (one day before she told us we could... sorry Mom, no self-control here). I'm pretty sure my mother single-handedly supported Deseret Book's sales profits this year. We were thrilled to get 2 sets of Children's Bible stories, a music CD of favorite children's songs about Christ, "The Old Testament For Latter-Day Families," "Favorite Songs For LDS Children," "Favorite Songs For LDS Families," (both of the previous two mentioned are spiral-bound books filled with beautiful artwork and inspiring stories behind selected songs, with the sheet music included and relevant scriptures displayed) a large FHE bag (a handmade gift from my mother I was quite impressed with), and little bag for Brianna that says "I love to read the scriptures." Then the secular gifts - mostly centered around cupcakes. My mother has dove into the trendy world of gourmet cupcakes. So of course I'm expected to as well. We received Martha Stewart's Cupcakes cookbook (amazing photos in that one - that lady, as weird as she is, sure is creative), another book called 101 Gourmet Cupcakes in Ten Minutes, a cupcake cooking sheet with tote-lid, a set of those fancy tips for decorating with frostings, and a container full of paper cupcake holders with festive designs for every holiday. And because my mom just can't give enough... a nice icecream scoop, a darling hat/glove set for Brianna, The Music Maker (very nostalgic for me - loved that thing as a kid), and... Secret Spice. It's the most amazing spice you'll ever taste. It's made by a family friend and sold by word-of-mouth only. Ingredients are kept lock-and-key. I'd rather starve than go without it.
Anyways... I hate doing posts like this, for risk of turning my blog into a brag. But I want my parents to feel uber-appreciated, as they should - because they made our Christmas so much more special and fun.

My two favorite ski buddies

We had a great time skiing at Brianhead Resort! Our gift to my Dad was his ski pass. My mom's gift to us was taking care of Brianna all day. Brianna's gift to us was demonstrating her potty skills successfully during their entire visit. Mother Nature's gift to us was fresh powdery snow and decent weather. My gift to our fetus was staying upright and avoiding falls (though I really wasn't too worried - I'm just 7.5 weeks along). Though the heart-attacks Brian gave me when he went down the dangerous runs probably didn't help my gestational well-being.
Next week: hitting the slopes at Mt. Spokane with these two ski bums!

A sleighful of thanks to Barbara and Ashley!

They sure spoiled us! We loved everything. Brian was thrilled to get more socks (he somehow managed to get large holes in every single one of his old pairs) and a basketball and a staple gun. We are super excited to use our Fajita-maker set and play Apples to Apples and Cooties. I love my new jammies and Christmas potholders snowman decoration and clock. Brianna was the most spoiled with 2 large dolls, a tea set, Fridge Phonics, a little purse, jeans, an awesome jacket and scarf, and an adorable blue poofy tutu.

Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou!

Christmas Day

We decided to stay home as a little family this year on Christmas day. Brian had to work the 24th and 26th, so it didn't make sense to spend 6 hours in the car to go to SF. We had a very nice, low-key day together. We slept in, opened gifts, had a nice breakfast, watched the movie Scrooge (old-school B/W version), had dinner at our friends the Gardner's home and invited an elderly single friend, took naps (well - B & b napped - I went on a lovely long run up the canyon), and went to see Brian's SIL Jami when she came to nearby Enoch. She brought a carload of gifts to us from Barbara and Ashley (Brian's sister, whose turn it was to give to us - his siblings are on a rotation. We gave to Melissa's family). We took advantage of our time at the Gardner's to get some extra Swagbucks. If you haven't heard of that site, you're missing out! You gets points for using their site as a search engine. Points are traded in for gift cards. I'm almost halfway to a free Southwest flight! My friend Michelle introduced me to it, and has already earned several Amazon.com gift cards. The Swag-people had a promo on Christmas day - send in a photo of yourself opening a gift, wearing something saying Swagbucks, with other people in the background, and you get 3 extra points. So we had fun staging that.
More Christmas photos to come.

Last weekend's Christmas activities

I made this photo collage fleece blanket for Grandpa McKell. It has pictures of his son Kent's family (Brian's family) with several shots of him and his grandkids and great-grandkids. We hung it up on the wall at the family party last weekend in Spanish Fork so he could see it when he came in. And - honestly - so I could show it off to everyone.

The photo doesn't do it justice because the bottom third of the blanket is cut off.

We spent the entire day in Utah County, and I was reminded of the reasons I don't miss it: POLLUTION and TRAFFIC. The holiday shopping frenzy was insane - it took me nearly an hour to get from the mall in Orem to Spanish Fork (usually 25 min drive). It didn't help that my vision was impaired by the nasty gray sky (I believe it's called inversion). The radio people were asking everyone to stay home and avoid driving or being outside. I'm pretty sure my hour-long run outside was equivalent to smoking a pack. Buuuuut... I did enjoy hitting a few favorite stores that we do not have in Cedar. And seeing most of Brian's relatives. So it was an enjoyable trip (besides the 6 hours of driving part... thank goodness for those rumble strips on the side of the road to save me from my drowsy driving)!

The most exciting part of my day...

I've heard stories of children putting things up their nose. I didn't think the stories were false - I just figured there was more to it.... like the parents weren't paying any attention at all to her children, or the kid was the slooooow type, or had other bizarre fetishes like licking doorknobs.
I was proved wrong this morning when, right in front of me, Brianna took the pomegranate seeds she was munching on and shoved one up her right nostril. I just stared at her in disgusted disbelief as she began desperately crying out, "nose hurt!" and "booger!" She tried to phish it out herself but of course just shoved it farther in. I had to pinch the very top of her nose and slide my fingers down while squeezing firmly to dislodge the seed. She really loved that. But it could have been worse - I had images of me rushing her to the hospital, or having to call Brian home to hold her head down while I stuck tweezers up there. But hopefully now she's learned her lesson.

Going through the unblogged photo files....

A few weeks ago the temps were in the single digits and teens, so outdoor stroller rides weren't a possiblity. It was actually Brianna's brilliant suggestion to "stolleh iide inzide!" She's crying in this photo and yelling, "NO DADDY! Mommy push!"

Here she is, looking up to make sure it's ME pushing her, and holding on to an apple (which she almost always requests during stroller rides).






Here's a little collage of an event that hurts to talk about... Brian did a 5K without me. I had to just watch it. Heartbreaking, I know. I had a vicious cold the week before that left me gasping for air after just climbing stairs. A race was out of the question. Brian was kind enough not to let my registration go to waste. Brianna and I cheered him on as loud as we could, in between coughs and nose-blowing. The bottom right photo is him taking off straight to work - he literally crossed the finish line, grabbed a granola bar from the refreshment table, and jumped in the car. I struggled to be happy for him instead of maddeningly jealous.

Brianna usually prefers to sit (kneel) on a regular chair rather than use her booster seat. I let her - it's not a battle worth fighting, in my opinion. But occasionally she also insists on bringing her blanket to the table, and buckling it in.
Safety first, ya know.


That cute little ball of fur is Dakota - our good neighbor/friend's new puppy. I'm glad they got one, because now we have the benefits of a dog (occasional playdates) but not the responsibility or cost!
When asked what the puppy says, Brianna sticks her tongue out and pants.I don't think I ever created and posted one of these cheesy trendy meters. Now I have.

A New Smith!

Brianna's cousin Julia was born yesterday to Brian and Becky in Arizona.
Congrats to the parents, and yay for babies!

(I'm not sure why she's getting spoonfed here. She's nursing well from a very dedicated breastfeeding mama. I think her daddy was sneaking her some icecream).

News from the Brianna-front

The excitement from the preg-discovery is dwindling. I've told everyone. Had the first doc appt. No sickness or expanding tummy yet to give me daily reminders. Next appt isn't until the end of Feb. (!) No need to start making any lists of names or sewing blankets (as if I could) or pulling out the old bassinet. Soooooooo..... on with life as usual.

Happenings in Brianna-world:

-She apparently thinks she's part of a different religion that likes to do a lot of shouting during worship services. Whenever she hears a speaker say "amen," she repeats back (as loud and long as she can): "AAAAMMMEN!"

-Yesterday at the grocery store (I know - shouldn't I have learned my lesson never to bring her there again? But we were in Provo and I couldn't miss the chance to hit Buy Low Market) and Brianna quickly found her way to the candy shelf at the checkout stand. Before I could stop her, she took a big bite out of an item. So we had to pay for it. Did she at least choose something I would secretly enjoy? NO - with all the Mentos and Skittles and chocolatey goodies nearby... she had bit into Rolaids. Both us of left disappointed.

-She's reverting to baby behavior after having been Miss Independent for so long. She's extremely cuddly, begs to sleep in our bed, likes to be held cradle-style, wants to be rocked before naptime, insists on me feeding her, and says "baby" when she points to pictures of herself. I wonder if she understood our conversation about a new baby on the way??

-On our quick road trip this weekend, I began the 3 hr drive by explaining to Brianna that we would be in the car for a loooooonnng time, and that she should close her eyes and fall asleep. I used to do that every time before we'd make our bi-weekly Vernal-Provo commute. Works like a charm - within minutes, she's out.

-She still insists on calling someone after she's used the potty. We've stopped doing treats - she didn't care for it that much - but she wants me to call her Nonny or Papa or Daddy or Meredith to let them know what she did. I'd like to thank them all for their tolerance of the daily potty talk.

-Brianna amazes me with her speech development. I can ask her what she wants to do or what she did and she can tell me. Her sentences are getting longer and she uses correct pronouns most of the time. I strongly believe in not using baby-talk, poor grammar, or 3rd person with her. I have to remind Brian of this quite often, because that's what he automatically reverts to when with her. Why is that? Is it environment or instinct to speak to a child in diminutive language?

-Friday night she stayed up hours past bedtime. It was after 10pm when we finally got in the car to head to Spanish Fork. From 8pm (normal bedtime) to the time she crashed in the carseat, she was like a squirrel on crack. Literally - she never. stopped. talking. and. running. Random songs, random words, random requests, running circles, running into walls... I felt horrible. I really was so upset with myself for not planning ahead of time better so we'd have the car packed and all the presents prepared for the weekend. Then when we arrived after 1am, she wouldn't sleep in the pack n' play. We brought her into our bed so her crying wouldn't wake the whole house. She became a squirrel on sleep deprivation - waking every 20 minutes to change positions, kick me, move the pillow, say "Daddy's bed! Mommy's bed!" or try to pick my nose. Rough night, to say the least. As soon as the sun was kindof up (6:30 am) Brian took her upstairs so I could attempt napping til 10am.

-Her hair isn't growing fast enough. Or at all, maybe. The bangs are still an awkward length...and the back is an awkward, uneven length.... perhaps I should share my prenatals with her?

-I reallyreallyreally adore my little Brianna. More now than ever. I never imagined I could love a little person this much. Especially one who daily makes me want to punch the wall or hide in the closet. I just want to squeeze her and kiss her all the time. And I do.

More fun with Picasa

Yesterday I got recruited to create a Christmas card for my MIL:

First Ultrasound

I think our little fetus resembles Brian, don't you?

Responses

-Due in August
-I'd prefer a boy (oh whoops - I mean - "I'll be happy either way")
-I'm feeling fine. I was never sick with my first pregnancy, so I'm hoping this will be the same.
-Took the test early Saturday morning. I saw no point in delaying a public announcement.
-We told Brianna that there is a baby in my tummy and she looked very confused. Now she points at her own belly and says, "baby!"
-I asked Brianna whether she thinks the baby will be a boy or a girl. She said, "Boy. Girl. Yeah."
-I really hope she's right and we have twins. Seriously.

You didn't ask, but just FYI:
-We're superduper happy about this. This pregnancy was no accident - we've been fasting, praying, and taking drugs. I love drugs.
-I'm currently laying on my stomach because my days of enjoying this position are soon to be over.
-I'm feeling guilty because I'm being very superficial and ungrateful and I keep dwelling on how upset I am about the inevitability of my body getting obese. Even 20 pounds looks horrible on me - my face becomes completely round, except for the double (or triple) chin hanging off the bottom. My arms get flying-squirrel style, and my thighs need their own zip code. Oh, and the muffin tops get Costco-sized. Aren't tall girls supposed to carry the baby weight better? Not me! As my dad said at the end of my last pregnancy to Meredith, "don't say anything to Chel about how she looks - she's as big as a boat and she's probably sensitive about it" (of course, Meredith immediately told me what Dad had said. That's how my family rolls).
-I'm a little bummed that my half marathon in St. George next month will be my last race for a looooong time. I'll be too big to race all the Spring/Summer events, and I likely won't be running well until next Winter. So I'm already thinking about the 2011 Spring circuit of triathlons and road races. But wondering how in the world I can train when I have 2 (or more) kids. See, told ya I'm being trivial.
-I'm kindof wishing I hadn't given all my baby stuff away to others. Whoops.
-One of Brian's comments after the announcement, "crap, I better not lose my job now." Ummm, yeah - cuz when we had just one kid, it was okay to lose it?!?
-My Dad's comment, "does this mean our ski trip in a few weeks is canceled?" (the answer: NO! This fetus totally wants to go skiing ).
- 3 of my siblings responded, "well, congrats - I'm not too surprised." Hmph. I'm going to have to stop being so predictable.
-I really am so freaking happy that I could cry. I'm looking forward to feeling those little kicks. I'm looking forward to seeing Brianna as a big sister. I'm looking forward to those late night breastfeeding/cuddling sessions. I love being a mom and I can't wait to have another baby.

Brian's early Christmas present

Seasonal Greetings

Our family Christmas card has always had "Happy Holidays" written on it, instead of "Merry Christmas," because I have a few people I send them to who do not celebrate Christmas.
Then I realized that is like being a BYU fan but not wearing blue in Salt Lake because you might encounter Ute fans.
So THIS is our Christmas postcard this year:
I made it as a collage with Picasa. I really love that software program. And not just because it's free. Though that does increase it's value to me exponentially. Then I uploaded it to vistaprint.com as a postcard and they shipped 100 to me (that's the fewest they'll do in an order). I bought a bunch of 28 cent stamps. So I'm loaded and ready. Now I just need YOUR address! If you think I don't have it - leave it in the comments. I'm enabling comment moderation so I won't publish your address for the world to see. Cuz you never know what kind of creepy weirdo is stalking my blog...

On a similar note, here is the Christmas card for my parents (via 123print.com - much better than vistaprint). This is the problem with people finding out how much discretionary time I have - I get asked to take on projects. Pro bono. I'm embarrassed to admit how many hours I spent trying to gather photos and put this thing together. Just tell me it's great - I can't bear to hear anything else.
Love these people. Miss these people. Christmas will be a bittersweet day without them.

More fun to give

Although this is going to sound a little self-righteous and disgustingly virtuous (I hate public declarations of personal virtue) ... I really do enjoy giving more than receiving. I work really hard to find gifts for people that are personal and perfect for them. And inexpensive. Because that makes ME feel good. And it's all about ME. I wish I could blog about the gifts I'm working on and the ones I've finished... I'm SOOOO excited about some of them! But for obvious reasons, the only one I can safely write about is what we're giving to Brianna. As of a couple days ago I wasn't planning on getting her anything. I think it's a little silly to go all-out buying frivolous gifts for a child who doesn't know Christmas day from Flag Day, and who really enjoys playing with rocks and flushing the toilet over and over. Buuuut... I saw this deal and couldn't pass it up:

Here's the website description: Hooked on Phonics Learn Colors on the Go is perfect for both at home and on the go learning. The set includes a colorful write-on/wipe-off workbook filled with fun brain-building activities and an entertaining DVD with music videos and cartoons to help pre-k children learn about colors and patterns while traveling, or in the home. It reinforces color recognition, pattern recognition, matching and handwriting skills, and will have your pre-k children laughing, dancing, and learning about colors and patterns everywhere they go. The DVD and book will keep kids occupied while traveling and helping to prepare for kindergarten, and to become early readers! Perfect for at-home and on-the-go learning, Hooked on Math® Learn Numbers on the Go! is a colorful write-on/wipe-off book filled with brain-building activities and a fun and entertaining DVD featuring music videos, cartoons, and more. This book will have your child dancing, laughing, and learning about numbers everywhere you go. Reinforces:

Number recognition

Pattern recognition

Matching

Handwriting

Almost everything on the Hooked On Phonics website is 50% off with code HOP50. ANNNDD... free shipping! They usually only do free shipping for orders over $130. A month ago, the grand total for these two items would have been about $23, plus about $7 shipping. My grand total: $5.40! Hope she likes these.

Responses

I was asked a few questions in the comments on my last post. Instead of responding to them on the comment page, I thought I'd make a new post (since I've been running out of blogging inspiration lately).
Q: Have you put up your Christmas clutter yet?
First of all, I love that you called it Christmas clutter. I feel like that's what it is sometimes. I know - I'm so bah-humbug. Not really though - I actually have like 4 boxes full of decorations. The problem is that they're completely inaccessible right now... they're in the hidden crawl space below our home in Provo that we're renting out. I wouldn't feel comfortable asking our renter to take everything out of the under-stairs storage closet so we could lift up the carpet, unlock the wooden door, and hop 6 ft down into the dark, cold storage area. I don't even want our renters to know that area exists. We didn't even know about it til we had been there over a year. Before we left for Vernal, I forgot to get our stuff out of there. We have all kinds of junk down there... I mean, important stuff. Like Brian's ginormous basketball card collection he won't let me sell. Anyway...so yeah, we don't have 98% of our decorations - just a few little things I grabbed at the swap meet a few weeks ago. The picture of Brianna sticking her tongue out (cuz she refused to smile) shows the few doo-dads we have. And we have a wreath on our door. I say that's festive enough.

I took this extra picture of Brian at our door with the wreath and realized I should explain all that stuff in his hands. It's a balloon, sign, card, treats, and gift card for his employee's birthday. As we were going to bed the night before, he's like, "oh - it's Carly's birthday tomorrow. Can you take care of it?" Thanks for all the notice. Hmph. But I actually really like recognizing other's bdays, so it was fun to go get some goods for her. She puts up with Brian's cheesiness and unending extreme enthusiasm very well.

And this picture of her with the wild smile... she's throwing the nativity scene decoration. After I told her to be careful while holding it.
Which brings me to the next topic:
Q: How's that TIMEOUT business going?
So here's the story: several months ago, I decided I needed to start some sort of disciplinary efforts. Most of my friends were into the time-out method. So that's what we did. She deliberately did something wrong/dangerous, so I told her she had to SIT in the corner for 30 seconds. Of course she wouldn't stay there. So I put my hands on her shoulders firmly enough that she couldn't get up. There was much weeping and wailing and gnashing. Definitely unpleasant. Mission accomplished - she learned the consequences of her wrong/dangerous actions. Until she decided to test her limits again (and again and again). Eventually she understood that if she just stayed sitting for the whole 30 seconds, I wouldn't hold her down. She doesn't like restraint, so now she just runs to the corner when I announce TIMEOUT. Sometimes she even counts along with me and smiles. That's annoying. This isn't supposed to be fun. Soooo... obviously I have no idea what I'm doing and I just have to follow my instinct and pray she doesn't turn out to be a self-centered adult with an inherent sense of entitlement. That's one of those things that drives me nuts - people who feel entitled. Like when they get a speeding ticket and blame the "mean cop." Or get furious at long lines. I totally think it stems from a childhood with a poor discipline system where basic virtues weren't taught. Ever seen the movie Seven starring Will Smith? I want my child(ren) to have the character qualities of the blind guy. Because I don't always. And I want better for my kid(s).
Next topic:
Q: Why do you like the Seriously, SO Blessed blog?
Ok, so no one actually said that verbatim... but I feel obligated to defend my adoration of TAMN and her satirical posts highlighting the banes of the Zion society in blogworld. Am I the only one that wants to gag at the "my-life-is-so-fairy-tale-perfect" blogs done by LDS woman portraying their lives as blissfully excellent? But instead of gagging... through this blog, we can just laugh at it! It's not done out of spite - the true author is a 25-yr old married mom in grad school, simply making a spoof. I can't be the only one who laughs and cringes at the same time while reading other's blogs... the public declarations of love for their "best-in-the-world" spouse, the "my baby is rolling over and doing sign language and walking at 2 weeks old!", the obnoxious widgets, the teenybopper music on autoplay, the flagrant misspellings, 500 exclamation points, obsession with posh winter boots...
It's also a self-help tool for myself... I see my sins more clearly. Like taking myself too seriously. Or like when she did a spoof on women who whine and cry about their "infertility problem"... because they had to "try" for a whole 2 months. Or how brides wearing flipflops and sparkles think they're uber-unique/creative/original. And all forms of shallowness and materialism and superficiality.

I love how she reminds me that we don't have to pretend we have perfect children and are madly in love every second of every day and are size 2 and maintain immaculate homes with trendy hand-made decor.
With all that said... I admit I may have a kooky sense of humor. The kind that likes Simpsons and Seinfeld. I blame it on my siblings. Brian doesn't like or "get" the SSB blog either. Then again... he's a Zionite.

I had a friend call and ask if I was ok.
Because I haven't blogged in nearly a week.
I'm that bad, huh?
Well - yes, my friend(s) - if anyone else was concerned as well - I just haven't had anything noteworthy occur this week. I try not to blog about the mundane. Though everyone's definition of mundane varies.
I guess I could take more pictures of Brianna sitting on the potty. We've been doing that a lot. She's only diapered now while sleeping or while out on an excursion that doesn't offer easy restroom access. We've only had a couple accidents this week - both when she was mad at me for putting her in timeout.
Speaking of timeout...I could take pictures of her doing that too. She goes at least once a day to the corner for 30 seconds. Usually for belligerent mess-making.
I could take more pictures of us reading books together. We do that a lot too. Though I'm worried she's borderline A.D.D. because she often has a 5 second limit per page. Or less. Someone please tell me this is normal.
I could take pictures of Brianna pushing her away Daddy and screaming, "NO! Go 'way! Mommy give!" at him. Suddenly he's not her favorite anymore {understatement}. I wish she realized how hard he works for us. It's been 11-12 hr days at the office, often minus lunchbreak. I hope this is just a phase. I'd honestly be happier if she preferred HIM and pushed ME away!
We've been pretty indoor-confined this week. Single-digit temps and no snow to play in are really not conducive to outdoor fun.
We cook. We clean. We laundry. We Lego. We gym. We shop. We bathe. We repeat.
OH, and we Bambi. Every day. She's obsessed with watching Bambi. Bolding and italicizing the word obsessed isn't emphasizing it enough. We both have the entire 96 minute 1940 film memorized word for word - including the horribly cheesy 40's-choir songs. She insists on sitting on my lap the whole time. So I've kept the laptop close. I read the SeriouslySoBlessed blog religiously. A recent post mocked people taking pictures of themselves holding cupcakes with their feet turned inward. That made me laugh. Almost as much as the post making fun of women calling themselves single-moms because their husbands work/school long hours. I talk to my sisters everyday and they tell me what being a single mom is really all about. I also use my Bambi/internet time to work on Christmas gifts. I'm doing everything online this year - minus a few yardsale finds (how whitetrashy is it that I love yardsales?). Lots of photo-gifts. FYI - vistaprint.com is horrible. Artscow.com has the best prices. Shutterfly and Snapfish are pretty much the same. Walmart Photo is lesser quality. Photoworks is not user friendly. There're facts according to Chelsea.


See? Told ya I had nothing noteworthy to blog about. I'll work on it.

New Brianna videos

Last night Brianna suddenly decided to stop being camera-shy and actually do a little performing. She's been doing most of these "tricks" for months, but just not for the camera. I uploaded several videos to youtube. In case for some crazy reason you're NOT subscribed to our "channel" (what's wrong with you?!) here are links to the 60-second-or-less clips and a little description of what you're in for:

Brianna attempts to sing I Am a Child of God, but gets distracted after the first few lines. She CAN sing the whole song, but decided to pause to remind me to remind her, "keep going, Brianna." :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRZtFlRM65M

Brianna's religious education:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDXmvcr9o7E

I was running out of ideas, and Brianna kept asking me to "make mohr Branna oovie" so this one was just me thinking of random things to ask her to do. She does a few animal sounds, sings the first part of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (she CAN sing the whole thing, but often gets distracted - like here, where she pauses to say CHEESE), she blows a kiss, counts to ten, says I DID IT... all while reading her favorite book - "Daddy and Brianna" (it's a photobook I made with just pictures of Brian and Brianna together): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZw1TlQ1qpk

Her favorite game is to put her blanket over her head, so her dad and I start asking, "where's Brianna? I can't find her annnyyyywhere....where's BRIANNA?!" She laughs and pops her head out. This time she decided not to laugh...she's mad at me for putting a turtleneck shirt on her: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vu3vgs8Q9oQ

You might think I'm a mean/bad mom after watching this, cuz I laugh when Brianna slips and falls down. It was just funny because you can hear her muttering, "careful Brianna, careful Brianna, careful..." then BOOM. She stopped trying to surf on pans on the tile floor after that. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqY-VvEdj2Y

Finally! She said the entire alphabet for the camera. I used to sing it to her over and over while we walked to and from the Rec Center everyday in Vernal. I have no explanation for the "NO DADDY!" yelling at the end. She gets mad at her parents randomly and irrationally: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOtiQOZdzKU

The best part of the photoshoot...

The Brianna-only pictures were my favorite. She tends to be much more photogenic than her parents. Though of course she was never smiling WHILE we were holding her... only when she was put in an interesting place, like a backhoe.
Or while in the car as we were leaving:

Or when she spotted a dog passing by
Or when the photographer had the brilliant idea of giving her a leaf to play with:

But most of the time she just ran away from us.

The view from my run

Last Friday Brian spent his "day off" at his office helping "run the show."
I'm not bitter, I promise - I'm used to it. Like when he called yesterday at 5:24pm to let me know he wouldn't make it home for lunch. You'd think it'd be like, "duh - judging from how late it it, I kinda figured that." But not really - sometimes he does actually take a lunch break at 4 or 5pm. Amazing how he can go 9 hours without eating and still be a car rental superstar.
Anyways...so since Friday was supposed to be his day off, I convinced him that he could keep Brianna at the office so I could go on a run (the gym was closed, and I had slept in).
I dropped her off, knowing she'd spend most of her time "rearranging" the shelfs of tourism pamphlets, and headed out to a nearby golf course. I had never been there before, because I'm usually in too much of a hurry to get my run completed and can't take the time to drive or bike to a more interesting place. Back in the pre-Brianna days, I would bike up to 10 miles away to find a better trail to run {sigh}. Not complaining, just reminiscing.
The golf course was nice - perfect turf, felt great to my knees and feet - but there were too many golfers out. So I headed up to the hills above it. And got lost. Very lost. I ended up backing myself into a corner, of sorts. I couldn't go back the way I came - it would take another 30 minutes. I couldn't go back a little and find a new trail, because to get back to the ERAC office I'd have to cross several fence lines with cattle inside. So my only option was to climb UP the big mountain I backed myself into. I don't know if can call my scampering up "running" - it was just a fast hike. While I should have felt a little apprehensive and remorseful (I told Brian I'd be back in 40 minutes - turned out to be a lot more) I secretly got a little masochistic kick out of it. Here's a very inadequate picture of one scene from the top:

I'm glad I was paranoid enough to bring my phone with me while running. A few years ago I made fun of people who did that.
I guess it's hard to explain why I think this experience is noteworthy. Blogworthy. It was just one of those moments where I felt... alive. Like I wasn't just a mom spending hours singing potty-related songs with my toddler and cleaning up spilled cereal and pushing a stroller and lamenting my 8 surplus pounds and feeding my hardworking husband and dusting blinds... like how I felt in Hawaii when I would spend hours running through guava tree-covered mountains and long empty beaches and ungroomed river trails... like a strong, free woman. Perhaps only a druggie could understand how the dopamine and serotonin hit could feel so awesome. It lasted me through the weekend. I need another hit soon.

Thankful for Zion and free food

We spent Thanksgiving afternoon hiking in Zion National Park. I can't believe we live so close to such an amazing place. There were many other hikers there today from all over the world - lots of Asians, Europeans... this is a big trip for them, and it's right in our backyard. Add that to the list of things I probably take for granted...
Brianna enjoyed most of the adventure. She wanted to be OUT of her toddler pack more than we could allow her (for time's sake - the sun goes down too early, so we were rushing, and she only goes fast when SHE feels like it). She did a lot of song-singing, and got upset if we didn't join her. She wanted to count everything, and furiously tried to wiggle out at each waterfall or stream, saying "Ah wanna tuhz (touch) eht!".
Our camera hates me (or maybe it's the SD card - I'm getting a new one at a BF sale tomorrow) so these are some cell pics:

Oh deer. Brian took a picture on his phone of me taking a picture on my phone. I told Brianna the mule deer was Bambi. She totally believed me. Sucker.

Sorry - just turn your head to the right.

The extra 30 pounds on my back all afternoon felt really great. Really.

Our favorite part was the Emerald Pools, so I'm stealing some photos of it from the www:As society dictates on this day of shameless gluttony, we also ate a lot. It's an interesting story... we had planned to just find somewhere near the park to get something. But on my bike ride in the morning I saw a Shakespearean-themed place called Bard's with a THANKSGIVING sign on it. So we called, and it sounded like they were doing a traditional holiday feast at a reasonable price. We showed up hungry at 11am and spotted an elderly man from our ward going in at the same time by himself. We invited Brother Massey to our table and spent the meal enjoying his company and his funny stories about his 11 yr old twin daughters from his ex-wife (Brother Massey is at least 70 yrs old...yeah, with biological 6th grade daughters... you do the math). We had only met him twice before - once at church, and once when he broke his foot a couple months ago and we brought dinner to him. I'm never met a more gracious person - you'd think I had saved his house from burning down or something like that. He seemed to really enjoy being with Brianna - he kept commenting on what a good eater she is (until she noticed the pie and started yelling for it - before that it had been, "mooh bocki (broccoli) peez! Mooh cahatz (carrots)!") At the end, I whispered to Brian that we should take care of his tab too, but before he could tell the waitress, she brought the whole bill to Brother Massey - he had already asked her for it! He wouldn't take no for an answer. Such a generous man - it wasn't a cheap tab! I later asked Brian what his favorite part of the meal was - expecting him to say the potatoes - and his answer was, "the fact that it was free!"
So overall, it was a wonderful holiday-day for us. The only thing that would've made it better is being a part of the noisy fun going on in the background at my parent's house in WA when I called today {sigh}. But we're headed there for a little trip in January (thankyou cheap airfare!)

An attempt at family photos

My goal was to at least get ONE good one of all three of us that I can use as a Christmas card.
Apparently Brianna didn't understand that goal. She's never SMILING at the camera when we are, and vice versa.
I guess I'll just have to make a collage and crop a decent shot of each of us into a family photo.


I should've worn DARK jeans like Brian did.


I also wanted to get at least one good one of all of us to use as an 8x10 gift for my mom. I know - way too ambitious.

"Brianna, please smile at the freakin' camera!"
This is how Brianna felt by the end:

From the mouth of my babe, part 2

-Today I came into the kitchen to find Brianna with oatmeal all over herself. She looked at me with a serious face and said, "IZ OATMEAL TIME!"

-I've been trying to teach her the difference between boys and girls. She's doing pretty well - it's fun to hear her say, "Nonny GIRL. Papa BOY. Daddy BOY. Mommy GIRL. Brianna GIRL." Occasionally she'll put the words IS A in between, when I remind her.

-One of the attendants at the Child Care at Gold's told me that Brianna sat at the table coloring and singing the Sunbeam song over and over.

-At the store today, she was sitting in her basket and we passed a little boy with his mom. They were walking the opposite direction of us and she yelled at him, "C'MEER BOY! C'MEEEEERRR! BOY!"

-She had an accident today and didn't quite make it to the potty. I didn't scold her, but I talked to her about what she did wrong and how we're going to do it differently next time. She got mad at me and yelled, "PUT DIAPER BACK ON!"

-While we were out doing errands, she called two different men DADDY. That's always awkward.

Purse Snatcher