Cabo cruise = 9.7

As long as I can remember, my mom has always asked me the same question upon my return from a trip or major event: "so, on a scale of one to ten, how was it?"
Last week's cruise down the Mexican Riviera scored a 9.7
One-tenth of a point was lost because I got very little sleep, another tenth lost because the amazing abundant cuisine set me back from my goal to return to my pre-baby physique, and another tenth point lost because our camera got ocean water in it and is malfunctioning. But the SD card seems to be fine, so I will get the ones I did take posted soon. Be excited for those. Be very excited.
So all the rest of the fabulous experiences we had earned the 9.7 points. I will proceed to record a mini-travel log here, with a disclaimer: It’s going to be long. This is primarily for journaling purposes. I don't actually expect anyone to read it all and/or comment (though you are very welcome and encouraged to). Except MOM - if you don’t read every word, my feelings will be hurt. Ok, lets start at the very beginning (a very good place to start):

DAY ONE: (monday, september 29, 2008)

We flew from SLC to San Diego mid-morning. Brianna was a stellar traveler (thank goodness - that was one of my major anxieties). She took a nap on the way to the airport, and during the 2 hr flight (big gracias shout-out to the guy who switched seats so we could strap the carseat next to us and let Brianna nap in it). We arrived in beeeeaaauutiful San Diego and discovered that the Carnival shuttle is a rip-off: $32 per person for the 6 minute drive to the port, versus a taxi charging $11. I asked the driver if he knew where the Carnival cruise port was, and he looked at me like I was an idiot (well excuuuuuuse me for not realizing your world revolves around cruisers, Mr. disgruntled Russian taxi-man).After a minor squabble with a security lady who insisted that our baby's name was Desiree (there happened to be another infant onboard named Desiree McKell - what are the odds) we got onboard our ship (NOT our boat. It's a ship, not a boat. Don't make any mistake on that or my Grandma - the widow of a former WW2 Navy officer - will sternly correct you).
Upon boarding the ship and climbing the stairs, the very first sight I beheld was Tiffany's Restaurant dessert buffet. With my eyes bugging out of their sockets, all I could think was "I have ARRIVED." That was the beginning of a 6-day love-hate relationship.
Before we could get into our rooms, the staff were obliged to entertain us. For the few passengers that weren't completely satisfied with simply drowning themselves in the endless procession of elegant beverages being constantly paraded in front of us, a reggae band got the party going. But what REALLY reassured me that this was where I was meant to be was the crowd competition I won – TWICE! I was the first to run up on stage with black sandals, and later with a picture of the boat. I earned my first 100% plastic GOLD ship-on-a-stick, and a Carnival mini-photo-album. The ship statue was an alternative prize – I initially won a bottle of champagne. But being that I was wearing a BYU tshirt, and the fact that I wouldn’t want Brianna to be tempted… I declined the bubbly. The game hostess was quite taken back. She announced loudly – TWICE – “You don’t DRINK?!?!” So afterwards I was approached by a few people asking me “so – BYU, no drinking…. you must be a Mormon.” Yep, I must be.
We finally got into our room. It really wasn’t that small. I don’t know why people whine about interior cruiseship staterooms. A crib was even provided for the babe and we all fit just fine. Our stewardess was Sunantha from Thailand. Pretty much the sweetest girl I’ve ever met. She made a monkey out of a towel and had it hanging from the TV. That made me extremely happy.
We went on a self-tour of the ship. I fell in love with the top Sports Deck. They had mini-golf, a jogging track, bball, volleyball, a pool, 2 hot tubs (all salt-water!) and lounge chairs. Oh, and a bar of course. Because we couldn’t possibly have fun without drinking….
The elegant Grand Atrium with the live pianist was splendid. I felt like I was a true high-roller (til I looked down at my $4 flipflops, of course). Seriously, the two pianists were incredible. They traded off playing in the afternoons and evenings. They went on for hours – sometimes without music, sometimes with (and it wasn’t sheets – it was all on a laptop! Cool huh). I talked to them later on. Both were… odd. Kooky. I guess that is what happens when you’re a musical prodigy. You have to be socially peculiar and awkward.
I’m glad I could call mom and Mere before we left, as the ship was at port, but as soon as we set sail my phone sent me a text telling me that international rates would apply to calls made. So my phone went OFF, and stayed that way til Saturday. We also didn’t really have internet access – it was expensive and SLLOOOWW on the ship. So for a week, we were cut off from the world. I loved it.
The lifeboat drill was somewhat annoying. If there was a Titanic-type emergency, do they really think we would all calmly march into our assigned lobby area with our lifejackets in hand?! Anyways, maybe I had a bad attitude about the whole event because some old lady saw Brianna and said “well he sure is his mother’s son.” Argh.
We went to the fancy-schmancy dinner (the alternative was the cafeteria-style buffet). Our waiter for the week was Florin from Romania. Nice guy….kindof. He didn’t hesitate to complain about his job, which he described as “24/7 slavery.” After 8 years of working on a cruiseship, he seemed extremely burnt out. He even told us about the count-down calendar on his wall – just 14 cruises left til he got to go home. Sad. But he was very friendly to us and always gave his menu recommendations (most negative. He stuck his tongue out to more than half of the nightly dishes). It didn’t matter for Brian though… throughout the week, we had an amazing assortment of ethnic cuisines, gourmet foods, etc…. and he mostly ate burgers and fries. Way to be adventurous.
We put Brianna to bed around 7, then left to go have fun (some people were shocked that we were leaving our baby in the cabin. What – were we supposed to go to bed at 7 too?! Or just sit by the door for hours?! She was safe enough in there. And we checked on both our monkeys frequently).
I got to be a contestant on a game show! It was sort of a “name that tune” style, complete with a big stage, cool buzzers and a cheesy host. I really had to make a fool of myself to get picked – jumping up and down like an elderly female Neil Diamond fan. So worth it. I had a great lead halfway through, then the host started doing weird things like giving away points to my competitors for telling him what they had for breakfast. Not cool. So I was second and won some artwork. Yay. But it was good practice for one of my bucket-list items: be on a real game show. Like Millionaire or Wheel of Fortune or that one where you run around with a shopping cart.
Brian was a little embarrassed with my public antics. He also wondered why everyone else was so outgoing and uninhibited. I pointed out the empty drink containers in front of them. Ah-ha…
We played ping-pong….kindof….it was awkward with the rocking ship movement. I was getting somewhat nauseous by this point. Getting up on the top deck and walking around the track helped. That became our ritual every night before we went to bed.

DAY 2

Tuesday started early… I got up and going at 5:15a, thinking it was 8:15a. With no window, no clock, and a watch showing the wrong time… I didn’t realize my error til I went outside and saw the gym was closed and breakfast hadn’t started. Ugh. I tried to go back to sleep, but Brianna was ready to play. That was the beginning of an extremely messed up sleep schedule for her week.
So I waited til the gym opened at 6am and did a killer elliptical workout. I go backwards and forwards, alternating fast intervals. I got my heart rate up sky-high, like to the point I thought my chest would explode (which would lead to milk flying everywhere. Quite the image, eh?) I sweated buckets. Pretty sure I grossed everyone out on my way back to our cabin. Why such a hard workout? Especially since we did a ton of walking and stairs all day (I refused to ever use the elevators)… well, I had a lot of energy to burn off. Multiple desserts at each meal will do that to ya.
I attempted to take a nap, but that required sending Brian and Brianna out of the room. Then I would get jealous at the thought of them having fun without me. And the ship captain and cruise director made random LOUD announcements over the intercom. So the daily nap attempts were futile.
I can’t remember what we had for lunch, but I clearly recall waddling in a drunken stupor out of the dining room and telling a random waiter “that was THE BEST lunch of my LIFE!” Seriously. Died and gone to gourmet heaven.
Brian and I went to a “Marriage Gameshow.” Lots of laughs. Great entertainment, though PG-13 rated. They had a couple there married for 48 years, and some of the questions made reference to their sex life. Their enthusiastic responses were definitely T.M.I.
Now this may seem odd, but honestly… my favorite part was seeing Brianna chow down in her little highchair. They always brought us one as soon as we walked in, or even had one waiting for us. We would put her in, then I would go to the salad bar and get a big plate full of fruits and vegetables. I dumped it all on her highchair table, and let her go at it. It was beyond hilarious. People would walk by and just stop and watch. Brianna was the happiest baby on the seas. The best part – I didn’t have to clean up, or worry about waste!
Brian surprised me by being an icecream fanatic. Not joking – he went to the icecream/frozen yogurt machine at least 6 times a day. It was open 24 hours (evil, I know). Brian has never been much of a sugar/dessert glutton. But I guess circumstances led him to come out of his carnivore-closet and admit his sweet tooth (though it still doesn’t even begin to rival mine).
We skipped formal night. I brought semi-semi-formal clothes, but Brian didn’t bring anything but shorts and tees. We both felt super uncomfortable being so underdressed. So we hung out on the sports deck and grill, away from the tuxes and gowns. Maybe next time we will be more prepared. Maybe not. It’s really not how I get my kicks.
We had a great time bringing Brianna in the pools everyday (ignoring the signs prohibiting un-potty-trained children from entering). We brought her floatie and let her kick around. She quickly learned not to drink the water – it was SALT water! Ick. Brianna was the most popular babe at the pool.
I’m really glad we went at this time of year, when most kids are in school. The staff members said that a month ago, the guest count was a few hundred more, with half of the passengers under 18. So loads of annoying teens, tweens, and loud muchkins running around. No thankyou. Brianna was one of just 4 children under 1 year old, and she won the youngest passenger contest. But I would never want to cruise on ones of the ships catered towards old people, like Holland America. They wouldn’t have fun activities like Carnival does. So we got the best of both worlds – kid events with no kids.
I was really impressed with how HARD those employees work! Even in the 90-degree weather. They bust it. I never saw one staff member from the US. Most were from Indonesia, the Philippines, Romania, Canada, Thailand, Serbia…. I got used to their accents (which all seem similar to me) and started thinking/talking like they did.
The nightshow was horrid. A parade of hooters in cheesy feathers with their butts hanging out. We left. Early bedtime. Are we lame?

DAY 3

Brianna had a horrible night! I think she figured out that I wouldn’t let her cry (didn’t want to wake the neighbors), so I just nursed her back to sleep everytime she woke. Sneaky little girl…. scored like 3 or 4 nursings during the night. Every night. We will have our work cut out for us in re-training.
Today was CABO day! Cabo San Locos (yes, locos).
We landed at 8am, but of course Brianna decided she would take a super long nap all morning. So we didn’t get to start exploring til after 11am. While we waited for her to finish her beauty rest, we entered the bball free-throw competition. I WON! 8 shots made in 60 seconds! Brian got seven. Though he gets handicap points cuz he sprained his ankle the day before (no big deal, he does that often I guess).
It was blazing hot, so we bought Brianna a baby-sombrero for shade. As expected, we were harassed by everyone and their dog. Literally. Some were pretty aggressive… following us around, sticking their merchandise in our faces… but we were unwavering. No, no, no. In Spanish: NO. No gracias. Adios. All I bought was a necklace for Meredith (she informed me before I left that I was obligated to buy her something, since mom and dad always buy her something on their trips. Makes perfect sense…) and Mexican Vanilla (my brother Brian said it’s really good). Oh wait, we actually bought those in Ensenada. I’m getting my port-stops confused. In Cabo, we took a glass-bottom water taxi tour. It was AWESOME! We saw Sea Lions sunbathing, tons of fishies, a cool natural arch, some rock-figures, got a “mexican massage” (meaning boating through water so rough I thought we would capsize), then got dropped off at La Playa Del Amor (Lover’s Beach) for an hour to play. We played. So fun. Though it was at this point that our camera got wet and it’s spirit left us to return to the camera after-life. Our camera has been good to us. I have no doubt it will receive the highest exaltation in heaven. RIP, KodakEasyShare.
Brianna seemed to really enjoy the ocean. Brian was the happiest daddy in Mexico. He has talked about bringing her to the ocean since before she was even born. She came home with a diaperfull of sand on her bum.
Losing the camera was somehow relieving. No worrying or time spent trying to get the perfect shot and capture every memory. Just had to enjoy the moment.
Most of the gym classes charged a fee. Lame. But there was an abs class I got to do. It was ok. It was just the Canadian instructor, myself, and a huge black man from Texas.
Dinner was SO fun – the staff all went out and danced! We got up and danced too! Brianna looked a little miffed to be taken away from her vegetarian smorgasbord temporarily. What a baby. I believe EVERY meal should include random spurts of dancing.
At night, we went to a comedy hypnosis show. Very funny. We have been to this type of thing before, and I always wonder if it’s REAL, or the participants are just hamming it up. ????
We took a late-night trip to the 24-hour “gourmet” pizza station. Not the best pizza. Brian didn’t go back again to it – those that know Brian’s fanaticism for pizza know this speak volumes. But I can now say I’ve tried goat cheese. Baaah.
Brian had a great time chatting with the Philippine employees. He would casually walk over to them, eavesdrop on their conversation, then jump in speaking Tagalog. I’ll never get tired of seeing their reaction to a white guy speaking their language fluently. Most are incredulous at first, then they become best parays. I just stand there with a blank look so they realize I don’t understand what they’re saying – I’m not just being antisocial. Or I chime in with one of the only phrases I still remember from our trip to the Philippines last year: “Hindi ako marunog mag Tagalog” (I don’t speak Tagalog). That always gets a laugh.
I got my own foreign communication kick with the Mexicans in Cabo and Ensenada. I still remember a decent amount from the highschool and college courses I took. I also used to listen to Spanish language tapes while driving. So I had fun asking for directions, bartering, answering questions about our baby, and buying items. While I’m not good at speaking Spanish, I’m better than I thought I was. I think it’s because I’m not afraid to look/sound stupid. I just try my best to say what I’m wanting to say and hope it comes out ok. If I look like a dumb gringo… oh well. Better than a pompous pretentious American.

DAY 4

This was an at-Sea Day, thank goodness, because I don’t think I would’ve had the energy for a big land excursion.
Brianna had her worst night yet – she woke up about every 2 hours. The first two wakings I could just nurse her back to sleep, but later on that didn’t do the trick. I tried changing the room temp, changing her diaper, a bottle, letting her sleep in our bed, singing… it was a loooong night. In the morning she had a runny nose and felt too warm, then too cold. I thought about taking her down to the infirmary to see the onboard doctor, but I found out they charge sixty bucks just for a consultation. And I’m guessing the doc’s genius diagnosis of her ailment would be: a cold. So I put on my Dr. Mom hat and decided we would cure her with lots of rest, sunlight, and extra breastmilk, less fingerfoods. The nasal dripage was gone by Saturday and she started sleeping better pretty soon. I figure there are 5000 different ways she could’ve come in contact with a virus or bacteria during the first few days of our trip, so I won’t pretend I know the cause. Though the fact that half the people who walked by her would stick their face in hers and pinch her cheeks and hands is a likely culprit. We didn’t feel like going down to breakfast that morning, so we just ordered room service. It was really an amazing system….24 hours a day, all I had to do was pick up the phone, dial 8000, and tell the lady what we wanted. 15-20 minutes later it would arrive at our door. Incredible. I could really get used to life like that.
Amidst Brianna’s apparent discomfort, she made a major MILESTONE – upon grabbing onto something and pulling herself up to a standing position, she LET GO with BOTH hands! I kid you not! There she stood, free-standing, for an entire 2 seconds. She looked so darned proud of herself. She has done it one other time since. I think she is pretty much ready for the Olympics now.
Brian actually came with me to the gym one morning. He is so random with working out… I never pressure him to go, and rarely even invite (he knows he is always welcome to come). But on this day he just announced he was coming too. He doesn’t go crazy there – usually just peddles on the bike or jogs a mile or two on the treadmill. But I really like having him there. He left early and went upstairs to the volleyball tournament. I didn’t even know it was going on, or I would’ve gone too! He was paired with some random guy and they did 2-on-2. After that he went to one of the bars where they were having a Sports Trivia event.
I noticed a sign with the ship stats: built in Helsinki Finland in 1998. Length = 260.8 meters (855 feet). Max speed = 22.9 knots, Cruising speed = 18.1 knots. Amount of alcohol and food stored onboard = outrageously ridiculous.
We went to lunch, and I realized something: I wasn’t actually hungry. In fact, I couldn’t remember ever being hungry since we had arrived. I was always in a state of being full or content. The only reason we ate was because they brought out new items that looked so dang good. After lunch, I told Brian: “we need to take a BREAK from eating. This is getting ridiculous.” He agreed. So for 3 whole hours, we didn’t go near the restaurants.
We watched an ice-carving demonstration that was pretty cool (get it – COOL. I’m funny).
We went to a charades game that was definitely more fun for those who had imbibed too much.
We went down the big huge slide a few times, but were sad Brianna couldn’t go. They gave some lame precept about height regulations and safety blahblahblah. Brianna would’ve been an excellent slider.
I did “laundry” (since of course it’s against my monetary morals to pay for laundry services). I just washed items in the sink, then tied them to the side of the ship to dry in the wind. Worked great
We went into one of the Sports bars with a big-screen to watch the Palin/Biden debate. I won’t clutter this travel-log with my thoughts on politics. But I will say that it was quite frustrating to Brianna. I had her playing on the ground with me, while around us a couple dozen others were glued to the screen. She tried smiling and cooing at all of them, and couldn’t get their attention! She tried and tried, finally looking at me like “what’s the deal? Have I lost my edge?!”
Brianna practiced her standing everywhere, all day long. It made her seem so toddler-like and less infantish. Brian made the comment at one point, “she’s like a real person.” Versus a .... fake one?

DAY 5

Ensenada day! We were disappointed to discover that they didn’t have a beach near there. So it was a shopping excursion. We didn’t buy much – mostly just walked and walked and walked. Brian was as happy as Sea Lion with a fish to discover a Tortilleria. It was fascinating to watch them making the tortillas. We bought a pack – they actually had whole wheat ones! They weren’t as amazing as Brian professed them to be. Just flour, oil, and salt. Then again, I was pretty desensitized to food by this point.
We competed in a speed-sliding race. I held the lead with an 8.5 second ride, til some big guy did it in 7.5 seconds. Brian got 9 seconds because he tried going backwards, thinking that would do the trick. Nope. Very clever though. And he looked dang good trying!
I had forgotten how it felt to have salt water dried on my hair (since the pools were all salt-water). I pretty much lived that way all the time during my Hawaii-days. Very nostalgic.
We watched the last part of the movie Juno. It was playing in our rooms. They actually had really good movies everyday. If someone got seasick and had to stay in bed, they would be well entertained. I liked Juno. I wish more pregnant teens would give their babies up for adoption.
As I mentioned before, Brianna was the most popular girl on the ship. Everyone wanted to see her/hold her. But there was one girl who reached out to hold her that I will never forget. She was an employee from Indonesia that looked about my age. As she was holding Brianna, she said “my baby is same age.” I was like “oh wow…but where is –“
Then I realized, before asking, that her baby must be at home in Indonesia. Probably with Grandma. That is so sad. These employees are gone for 7 months at a time. So she is missing out on raising her child. Perhaps it’s a cultural thing, and she will someday get to be the one raising her grandchild, while her own children go off to work. She held Brianna for a long time, very close. It was a reminder to me that I need to be more grateful for the fact that I get to stay home and raise my own child(ren).
We went to a “Battle of the Sexes” game in the Mikado Lounge. Brian actually went on stage and competed in the paper airplane flying portion of the game. If you want to know how he did, you’ll have to ask him. I don’t want to embarrass my man. At least he LOOKED the best up there! :)
We got professional pictures taken, and bought some just in case our camera card wasn’t salvageable. The photographer loved Brianna – she smiles very easily. Brianna definitely didn’t get her photogenic-ness from her mother. It’s like impossible to get a decent picture of me. Oh well.
Brian had a rough night – he got a fever and a cold. Yuck. Dang cruiseship germs.

DAY 6

Though we had an awesome vacation, I was happy to get off that ship. I said goodbye to our monkey-towel and returned to the real world. The world of washing my own dishes, making my own bed, and living a non-gluttonous-overindulgent life. For the next couple days, I still felt like I was on a rocking ship - an odd sensation. I also had an overwhelming urge to turn my cell phone back ON and get online to check my email. I guess I was ready to be done!
I don’t think our next vacation will be a cruise. It just doesn’t feel morally right to be paying others to wait hand-and-foot on me, filling my every need and stuffing me with 24-hr buffets. I’m glad to say I did it once, so I can knock on the extravagant superficial ostentation of it all.
Ideally, our next vacation will be to a beautiful lake somewhere, with days full of kneeboarding and nights of campfires. Anyone wanna come? If you have actually read this entire ridiculously long post, you can!