I should probably be cleaning something or packing something or reading a baby prep book.... or sleeping, since I have to be up in 5 hours. But I just feel like talking. Well, not really. Just typing. I'd rather not have feedback. It just clouds up my thoughts. Like when people keep asking me how I'm feeling...I usually respond back as if they're just asking how I'm feeling physically. So I answer - great! Feeling great. Minor aches and pains (these dang swollen hands!) but really feeling just fine. But emotionally.... I just don't know about this whole twin thing. I don't know if I can do it. It's so overwhelming that every time I truly imagine these babies coming out and into my arms then sent home with me to be in charge of.... I have to stop thinking about it. I feel like I barely squeak by just having one child. I totally winged the first year with Brianna. I'm just lucky she turned out so great. I don't think I can "wing it" with two. I have to have some sort of plan... a system... but I've got nada. It's like my entire two years in graduate school... I kept feeling like they would find out that I was a fraud; that I didn't really know what I was doing and wasn't as smart or experienced as the rest of my cohort. But I don't want to sound like I'm not looking forward to this... I mean, I can't believe I get to actually see and hold my babies tomorrow. My children. I'm going to be a mom of THREE. That's just nuts. They're going to cry, and poop, and be dependent on us for everything. And I'm going to feed them. I'm totally in charge of their most basic need in life. I mean, it hasn't been that long since I've breastfed - a little over a year - but I feel just like a new mom, having no idea how it's possible that I'm suddenly going to start making milk. I'm totally confident that I will though. I'm going to figure it out somehow. I have the best support - my books, my LLL leaders, my twin mom friends, my freakishly stubborn personality.... it's all going to work out somehow. But what about Brianna - how will she react? Freak out? Go back to diapers? Try to share her raisins with the babies? I mean, she's acting all excited about the babies now.... she pets my belly, tells EVERYONE she sees about her two babies coming, plays with their bouncy chairs and puts diapers on her dolls... but she's two-and-a-half. There's no way she actually comprehends the ginormous life change occuring in a few hours. I know I don't!
Ok....really should go to sleep now.
I'll send twitter-style text updates to this blog from my phone tomorrow and Friday. And maybe for several weeks/months/years after that - cuz when will I have two free hands to type?! I don't know! This is all just craziness.
Many many thanks to everyone who has sent their prayers well-wishes on our behalf. The love and support and excitement is so appreciated and so fun!
13 comments:
Can't wait to see pics of your new babies! I'm sure they'll be just as adorable as Brianna :)
Ahh! I feel nervous and excited for you! What a big day! You will be great at this, Chelsea. I can only imagine that it may seem daunting at times, but O have no doubt you will be the best mom for these three kids. The awesome thing about being a mom is that you and only you (and Brian of course) know what's best for your kids and your family. Good luck tomorrow. I am so excited to see pictures! We'll be thinking of you!
You can handle it! If my other friend who had her twins early and had been on bed rest and had babies in NICU for like a month can handle all of the stress... You've got this in the bag!
Deep breathes and prayers always help. Fingers crossed for you all!
I totally understand the scared/nervous part, but you are a fantastic mom to Brianna and you will be a fantastic mom to these two new babies as well. Our thoughts and prayers go out to you and your little family this day! Very excited for updates and pictures!!!
i like this post. i feel like everything you are feeling is incredibly normal. best of luck today (even though at this point i'm pretty sure that's a little late). we will be checking for updates.
Glad you captured your true thoughts and feelings - you will treasure these!
you got this, you got this! and by now you probably have them in your arms! :) hope all is going well with mom and babies and dad too of course! i'm sure brianna is having fun with her nonny! anyways i always have to remember the saying "take one day at a time..." you'll do amazing things with your family!
I am sure you have had your babies right now and I am wishing you the best! I can't wait to see pictures and help you hold and love your little babies. And don't worry, your friends will help take care of you and yours! That's what we are here for, so CALL ME when you need a sanity break! Seriously. (Not that i have any sanity to offer but maybe a break...;)
Sending prayers and good vibes your way! I think you will be an amazing mom of three! You can do this!
We are excited for you! Can't wait to see pictures and hear the names!
You will do awesome!! :) I guess with us, I had no notice so I didn't have time to worry about having twins! :) The best advice I think I can give you, but I think you already know, is that you can't do everything. Sometimes, one of them may have to cry until you can get to them. They'll survive! :) (and so will you!) Good luck with everything!! :) Can't wait to see pics!
I love your most real and sweet post. You're going to do fine - wonderfully. You're surrounded by people who love and care for you, and you will learn to let them share in the joy by helping you...yes you will! I can't wait to hear from your Mom - here's to a quick and uneventful recovery. You're going to do great!
I love your most real and sweet post. You're going to do fine - wonderfully. You're surrounded by people who love and care for you, and you will learn to let them share in the joy by helping you...yes you will! I can't wait to hear from your Mom - here's to a quick and uneventful recovery. You're going to do great!
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