B+C+B+C+B+C: 2nd place is the first loser.

Monday, June 27, 2011

2nd place is the first loser.

So.... I got second in the contest. By 13 stinkin posts. 516 to 529. THIRTEEN. I can't tell you how much I kicked myself afterward for not just staying home all day and working harder. By "working harder" I mean harassing and nagging more people to do what I tell them to do with little explanation. People like that, right? I had one kid, Casey, that refused to do the referral for me simply because he didn't feel like it. It took me several minutes of sending messages back and forth, including, "I TAUGHT YOU HOW TO SWIM, YOU PUNK! Go vote!" Finally he did it, and then decided it was fun and got half a dozen others to do it. I have dozens - actually, hundreds - of little stories like that. I was on a roll. I really thought I had it in the bag. My stomach went into knots when I got the news I lost. The unexpected $100 consolation prize did little to pull me out of my instant crippling depression.
A little dramatic over something relatively trivial? Maybe. I mean, there are people starving in Africa, and I'm having a huge pitty party over a Facebook contest to win money we aren't really in need of.
But it wasn't ever really about the money... I JUST WANTED to WIN!
What's wrong with me?! Am I really this prideful and competitive?! I guess it's just because I TRIED so hard. I reallyreally TRIED! I mean - there are millions of people millions of times better than me at millions of different things. But the difference is that I didn't put any effort into being good at those! So I don't care about them. I'm kindof an all-or-nothing person. If I'm going to get INTO something, I'm going 100%. I need to get over that; it's probably not healthy. Like with my running - I'm kindasortamaybe trying to get back in shape. But it's scary to even TRY, because what if I just get injured, or otherwise FAIL in some aspect...

Let's play Where's Chelsea. Hint: Turquoise, behind guy in black pants.

Like this 5K a couple weeks ago. The director sent out this photo, and it just sent a sting of regret because again - I didn't win. I placed second. I purposely chose a small, low-key race, away from Utah County where all the supafast girls race... and I still couldn't win. As I was chatting with the winner girl afterward (a cute 20 yr old with no kids, who rode her BIKE to the race...that was ME in a different lifetime...) I didn't fail to casually mention, "well, gotta get back to my twin babies..." Wouldn't want her to think it was a fair race or anything :)
So I'm thinking the solution to my problem is to change my mentality back to what it was when I first had my babies: I need to have lower expectations for myself. That way, if I ever do happen to do something great, then it will just be a pleasant surprise - instead of a big disappointment every time I fail to be awesome. Sounds good, right? It works. I promise. Lowering the bar, people. Lowering the bar.

4 comments:

Fei said...: You know, you should try harassing us for $1 instead of a vote. You might get $516 to make up for it. ;)

Or more. I'm sure there are some people prefer giving a buck away over liking a Facebook page they don't really like.; June 28, 2011 at 10:58 PM
chelsea mckell said...: Fei, that' GENIUS! I'm going on FB right now to inform all my friends that they can like a page, or give me a dollar. They have no other choice. If I had a day job, I'd totally quit it to pursue this new business venture.

NO NO NO - the point has been missed - no amount of money would make up for LOOOOOOOOSSSSING!; June 29, 2011 at 6:51 AM
Becky said...: Hilarious and yet I feel your struggle(s). I read a cool quote on a blog the other day.

"the greatest battles of life are fought out daily in the silent chambers of the soul." {David O. McKay quoted by guest poster on C. Jane Enjoy It)

To me, this means that despite how trivial our inner struggles (wanting to be the winner) may seem when compared to global issues (people starving in Africa)...they are still significant and important.

I think changing your mentality IS the answer but I DON'T know that lowering the bar or your expectations of reaching the bar is.

I think accomplishment makes you a winner. That is why I don't understand races. Maybe that's because I've never won one? But my point is, someone can run a 5k for FREE anytime they want and feel like a winner because of the accomplishment.

Just my thoughts.; June 29, 2011 at 10:51 AM
BBS said...: Hey Chelsea- I just want to point out that you have already done many many great things! Love ya-; June 29, 2011 at 2:19 PM

Quotes I want to remember

"The Lord knows our bearing capacity, both as to coping and to comprehending, and He will not give us more to bear than we can manage at the moment, though to us it may seem otherwise. Just as no temptations will come to us from which we cannot escape or which we cannot bear, we will not be given more trials than we can sustain."
- Neal A. Maxwell

"It is a fundamental truth that the responsibilities of motherhood cannot be successfully delegated. No, not to day-care centers, not to schools, not to nurseries, not to babysitters. We become enamored with men's theories such as the idea of preschool training outside the home for young children. Not only does this put added pressure on the budget, but it places young children in an environment away from mother's influence."
-Ezra Taft Benson

“Perhaps there has never been a time when we had greater need to pray and to teach our family members to pray. Prayer is a defense against temptation. It is through earnest and heartfelt prayer that we can receive the needed blessings and the support required to make our way in this sometimes difficult and challenging journey we call mortality.”
-Thomas S. Monson

“Live the gospel as conspicuously as you can. Keep the covenants your children know you have made. And bear your testimony! Don’t just assume your children will somehow get the drift of your beliefs on their own.
-Jeffrey R. Holland

"We hold in our arms the rising generation. They come to this earth with important responsibilities and great spiritual capacities. We cannot be casual in how we prepare them. Our challenge as parents and teachers is not to create a spiritual core in their souls but rather to fan the flame of their spiritual core already aglow with the fire of their premortal faith."
-Neil L. Andersen

"Certainly there are times when getting the family together to read the scriptures does not stack up as a spiritual experience worthy of a journal entry. But we must not be deterred. There are special times when the spirit of a son or daughter is just right and the power of these great scriptures goes down into their heart like fire. As we honor our Heavenly Father in our homes, He will honor our efforts."
-Neil L. Andersen

President Hinckley admonished both men and women to be nurturers. He said, ‘How much more beautiful would be the society in which we live if every father . . . and . . . mother regarded [their] children . . . as gifts from the God of heaven . . . and brought them up with true affection in the wisdom and admonition of the Lord.’ ”
-Susan W. Tanner

"Children are like trees. When they are young, their lives can be shaped and directed, usually with ever so little effort. Said the writer of Proverbs, 'Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it' (22:6). That training finds its roots in the home. There will be little of help from other sources. Do not depend on government to help in this darkening situation. Barbara Bush, wife of former U.S. president George Bush, spoke wisely: 'Your success as a family, our success as society, depends not on what happens at the White House, but on what happens inside your house.' "
-Gordon B. Hinckley

“I give counsel to husbands and wives. Pray for the love which allows you to see the good in your companion. Pray for the love that makes weaknesses and mistakes seem small. Pray for the love to make your companion’s joy your own. Pray for the love to want to lessen the load and soften the sorrows of your companion.”
-Henry B. Eyring

“Reverent behavior is not a natural tendency for most children. It is a quality that is taught by parents and leaders through example and training. But remember, if reverence is rooted in love, so is the teaching of it. Harshness in our training begets resentment, not reverence.”
-Margaret S. Lifferth

"There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else."
- M. Russell Ballard

“As parents, we should remember that our lives may be the book from the family library which the children most treasure. Are our examples worthy of emulation? Do we live in such a way that a son or a daughter may say, ‘I want to follow my dad,’ or ‘I want to be like my mother’?”
-Thomas S. Monson

“Security for our families comes from learning self-control, avoiding the excesses of this world, and being temperate in all things.”
-Kent D. Watson

Monday, June 27, 2011

2nd place is the first loser.

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