Saturday, June 19, 2010

Infant twins? psh. Toddler? AHHHHH!

People often ask me if I'm nervous about having twins.
The honest answer is no. I am excitedly anticipating the addition of our children.
The question few think to ask is if I'm nervous about having the twins AND the toddler.
The answer is YES! I don't know if all 2 yr olds are this way, but she has moments of intense clingy-ness! Or even just irritability and whining. And I feel like I'm the only one that knows how to help her be happy again. We really have a very tight bond - maybe the same as all SAHM moms and their first child... it's all those days/weeks/years of spending nearly 24 hrs together. But in 5 or 6 weeks, I'm suddenly going to be MIA. Especially those 3-4 days in the hospital post-cesarean... what is Brianna going to DO?! I'm seriously nervous that she's going to have a total breakdown and think I've abandoned her. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but today's experience did NOT help to bolster my faith.
Here's the photo Brian texted to me, along with the words, "heading home now" :
She doesn't look too happy, eh?  Well she had just spent the last hour or so CRYING for me! Brian decided it would be a good idea to take Brianna on a 3 hr drive to see his parents and a couple siblings for a few hours. Yep - more time in the car than actually visiting. There was no way this double-pregnant lady was going to sit through the hours of driving, especially with the overwhelming to-do list I've created before the babies come. Brianna asked me a few times, "Mommy come in car? You coming, mommy?" and I would just nonchalantly tell her that she got to do a car trip with just daddy this time, and I would stay at home. She wasn't happy about the idea, but willingly left with him after church. Well, less than an hour after they arrived Brian called me and all I could hear was sad crying in the background. Brianna was just sobbing and asking for me. It was absolutely heartbreaking. They got back in the car for the long drive home.
What am I going to DO?! Maybe we should've spaced our children out a little further...I sometimes forget that she's still partly a baby that needs her mommy. I wish there were two of me! Or at least that I could grow another arm...

8 comments:

DeAnne said...

I'm no expert, but I think your feelings are fairly on track. Katelyn was 3yrs+ when Alaina was born. I was very concerned about how she would feel when her sister came along. I was worried she would feel left out. The first couple of weeks were the biggest change, but she really surprised me and has never shown signs of jealousy or resentment. She loves her baby sister. I am sure you will do a great job giving Brianna the time she needs, even while caring for TWO new babies. I'm not preaching, but the best thing is to teach them to love their new sibling(s). Brianna will be a great big sister.

Marilyn said...

What a touching entry. I remember #2 child coming home from the hospital, and the big adjustment with both children. I can't imagine double the fun. Personally, I think it is OK to anticipate sibling rivalry. It is totally normal; but yes, it's hard to deal with. You have such a close bond with Brianna. That is so sweet!

Becky and Brian said...

It took Dean some time to adjust and it might be hard at first but it will be good for her. You might even let your babies cry a little longer that you did with Brianna because sometimes her needs will come before theirs. I love having Julia and Dean close together. I know it would be harder with twins but you will love it! You can send her to AZ for a while if you need a break! Dean would love it!

Winston said...

Ah, man that sounds tough. Brayden is a daddy's boy so I can kind of understand what you are talking about. (although I go to work on a regular basis so he is more accustom to me leaving) It's tough but things work out. She will have to adjust and it could take some time but don't stress about it too much. Easier said then done I know. :)

Unknown said...

I am not having twins and have the same feelings about adding just one child to our family! One thing I do think about though is that if I were smart I would have had this baby a year ago instead of now. I wonder if it would be easier on a two year old instead of a spoiled little three year old!

Julie said...

god choose you guys for a reason and it's probably cuz you guys rock! But i know you and brian... you have nothing to worry about you guys aren't scered!! :)

Malerie said...

I'm hoping you go first and can give me some tips. I'm on my 2nd day of bed rest and I'm pretty sure Madeline has lost it. Tantrums, fighting naps and bedtime and extra clingy. It's probably going to be challenging but kids are surprisingly resilient and forgiving. Good luck with all the preparation. It's exciting to think you'll have two sweet little newborns joining your family!

summer said...

maybe it's been too many years since I've had the last newborn (!) - but it seems each child was so excited to have their new sibling around. I especially remember how helpful Miss M was - and being the oldest girl I think you'll be pleasantly surprised how that nurturing side to Brianna will come out with the babies around.

Also - timing is timing...Jacob clings to me some days like a leech! He will cry and go on and on for me to stay right by him. It's partially hilarious to me, because I thought by almost 4 yrs. he would be way past that phase! I suppose they each have their timing when they just need some extra mommy time - whatever age or stage.

You'll find a way to continue your special times with Brianna....it might look and feel different at first - but the most important thing is for them to continue to feel loved - which you will no doubt do...and even above and beyond what I'm sure a mother of one little baby like I was able to do.

p.s. those frozen bananas sound yummy....although I would probably drown mine in dark chocolate first. really. but then again that is why you look like you do even carrying twins - and well, I'm struggling to take off my weight again. grrr...after the twins are here, can you find time to be my personal coach?! j/k :)